Cobra’s Newest Weapon: An idiot

I have put commentary on this page. They are bolded

Let’s a take good long look at one of Batdan’s masterpieces shall we? Keep in mind that I literally mean masterpiece. I could have called it shitpile but I didn’t.

“Bores promises the next one will be his biggest ever, but then he slacks off and ends up putting out less content than before.”

And yet Bores still makes more videos and views then you do. See get it? Batdan doesn’t make videos! Therefore he can’t get video views.

“Going by the title, he’ll be looking at G.I. Joe on the NES. Which one?”

Obviously the first one, when has Chris even reviewed the sequel first? I am intentionally playing stupid here even though I know he did castlevania out of order due to this stupid rule. Also goonies 2, super mario bros 2.

“Because the newest movie came out in theaters. I can tell this by the addition of “retaliation” in parenthesis at the end. I love how that part is clearly an afterthought, doing that in the hopes that people will search “G.I. Joe Retaliation” and come across his video”

Says the guy who put ‘Cobra’s newest weapon’ in their article title! 😀 I don’t even know if I was sober doing this and that’s an accomplishment since I don’t drink beer!

“Like last time, IG is doing the NES G.I. Joe because the new movie is out in theaters.”

What last time? The last review you looked over was SMB on the 3DS! How can people take this guy seriously when he’s this fucking vague? If you can’t actually rebuttal someone just pretend you can’t read the sentence properly. Misinterpret the context, completely make an ass out of yourself. 9 out of 10 Asaleri’s agree!

“Then people wouldn’t give you so much grief for taking over three fucking weeks to release a new video”

So then they can give him grief for rushing his work out early. See this is the part I don’t get at all. Batdan doesn’t like it when Irate Gamer takes a few months to get his work done. But when Irate Gamer releases his work early, he’s still pissed at him. Why even give recommendations or ask for more things for you to bitch about? Beggers can’t be choosers Batdan. When Irate Gamer takes too long = shitty review when its too short = Shitty review. I probably shouldn’t need to point this out but I am once again misinterpreting the context. It’s not about how long but about the quality to time used ratio.

“Say Bores, why not give us reviews of A Good Day to Die Hard or G.I. Joe Retaliation?”

Case in point. I don’t understand why Batdan tempts fate like this.

“Given that there was no “Top 10 Summer Movies” list again, it sounds like he’s done with the movie reviews. He might surprise me in May when Iron Man 3 comes out though.”

How can he surprise you if you know the two things that could happen? 😀 Yeah now I’m just being an ass

“Here’s something you need to remember (and everyone else too), G.I. Joe is an action figure franchise.”

Oh reallies? A TV SHOW IS MERCHANDISE DRIVEN? OF COURSE YOU HAD TO POINT THAT OUT. DUMB PEOPLE WOULD NEVER FIGURE THAT OUT. I though TV Shows made their money via under the table backroom deals! But to be fair, Irate Gamer fans don’t know that since they thing ad revenue is unnecessary for web shows to be profitable and that people just get money for no reason at all.

“He begins to think that Snow Job isn’t in the game because his name sounds like blowjob.”

Well yeah, dumbass executives are dumb. Note I just called Irate Gamer a dumbass executive to this date no one has pointed this out.

“IG walks up to him and tells him to get out the hell out. Since IG is a massive Stu, Flint backs away scared.”

Well flint is on private property. Flint must obey all forms of etiquette including following the orders of the residents. Oh in the words of Mr.Kill’s wiki edits, HE WILL DEVOUR THE LESSER BEGIN KNOWN AS FLINT!

“IG starts the game and immediately starts complaining about everything being too hard. This is going to be one of those videos isn’t it?”

Well the game is hard. I spent 6 hours not knowing you had a gun. Because I was doing a no gun run. 

“He brings up how the first boss is a fighter jet, and it looks like he’s jumping into it. You do realize that you’re supposed to avoid the boss right?”

Try doing that if you don’t have a gun jackass. Yeah play the fucking game batdan.

“He claims the worst part is when you get a game over, you see Cobra Commander laughing at you in front of fire. IG won’t take that and says he can do that too, and for no reason his background explodes into flames. The sad thing is I could tell he was going to do a green screen gag because his flailing hand movements had green on them”

So he can’t do a joke now? What you didn’t point out batdan was that Irate Gamer just used satanic powers to summon fire, demonstrating that he’s the anti-christ.

“He then claims the jet is Cobra Commander over-compensating for his small penis. How cute, Bores is trying to be edgy again. Still duller than a rock.”

He’s got more stones then you do ;D Yeah I think they’re gonna have to take that gall bladder out. Do note that I am not refuting Batdan’s points at all

“In one of his Skylanders videos, he mentions his girlfriend’s kids. Are they the reason he’s made everything so clean? Are they the reason why his recent output feels less like videos made for the internet and more like cheesy 70’s or 80’s videos your teachers would show you when they don‘t feel like working?”

Its called creative style… also yes its not good to swear in front of children. I just made fun of myself and Irate Gamer by caving in to Batdan’s critcism. No one noticed.

“IG notes that after a while, he notices a pattern. He gets killed, his new character kills the jet, and then another jet flies in. IG takes a glass off his shelf and douses himself with water. Why do you have a glass of water on top of your game shelf? If you want something to drink, get yourself a side table. It seems like a bad idea to put liquids on top of a shelf full of old cartridges.”

Look at his room… DO YOU SEE ANY SPOT TO PUT A CUP OF WATER. Freaking prick, I’m gonna ignore that fact batdan didn’t realize this was a joke and focus on the fact that he thinks he’s a Feng Shui master.  Is it your house batdan!? Chris can put a cup of water anywhere he fucking wants! Chewbacca says he likes my defense line.

“IG then follows that with another interaction with the narrator bit. Why does he keep doing these? They’re not funny. Unless the fans somehow think that because they’re dumb 11 year old kids that have never seen this type of joke before. It’s called Winnie the Pooh.”

Winnie the pooh is not a joke… moving on By ignoring the parts that count I am essentially saying that Irate Gamer narrator bits are totally fucking stupid

“IG doesn’t recognize him, and starts gushing over how G.I. Joe has some of the greatest villains in cartoon history yet the game chose “Raptor Man””

Well people are expecting good villains… Sargent overkill isn’t in the fucking game and you fight nameless cobra dudes who aren’t even vipers or B.A.T.S. What you’re not gonna point out that this is a legit criticism… FUCK OF Yeah that’s right cowards prepare to fuck of that’s what a real man says when wants someone go away FUCK Of. Also raptor man was totally fucking cool

“Our hero ladies and gentlemen! A complete psycho.”

Whose crazier? The guy who kills people who make bad decisions or the guy who won’t stop humping his ass? 😀 No literally its a question I want you to answer. who’s worse? Chris Bores or Joe Haldnik?

“Remind me how he’s the “chosen one” meant to stop the Shadow Overlord and save the world?”

I thought you said he wasn’t continuing his story? Oh wait you deleted that part didn’t you? And yet to this day ben wagner has not noticed that I said I didn’t know anything of his exploits and yet here I am citing an incident he caused. FUCKING IDIOT

“Then he claims bullets can’t kill it but punching does. Nooo, just damaging it works. Bullets or fists, you did enough damage after a while to win. It’s like taking out most of a boss with a sub- machinegun, the finishing it with your knife.”

Yeah you go ahead and try that Batdan… does the word immune and fucking idiot mean anything to you? Yeah its just an armored fucking vehicle, fist will punch through steel. I’m willing to bet Batdan thinks he can beat Doom’s cyberdemon with a pistol. While you can’t beat the cyberdemon with the pistol you sure can beat the armored vehicle without a using a gun. It’s stupid and balls as crazy but that’s what you gotta do for a no gun run.

“Oh and he follows it up with yet another water splash to the face, but this time he follows it with biting his NES controller cord and shocking himself somehow. Wha…?
By the way, build-up to a rule of three gag. Because that seems to be all Bores knows.”

It’s call suicidal humor.  Do you take depressants before you write that note the lack of question mark. It was hilarious watch Irate Gamer attempt to kill himself Note the sentence fragment I said Watch IRATE GAMER ATTEMPT TO KILL HIMSELF as a reference to killing his reputation by accepting me. Given your hatred for him shouldn’t you be taking the idea of Irate Gamer and suicide in a more happy fashion I wonder what batdan would do if Irate Gamer offed himself? Of you course you wouldn’t because he’s your man crush. Talking to you batdamn

“He gets to another stage where has to find detonators (or as he calls it “hide and go shit”), and complains about the plat forming”

Wow a space between plat and forming. That must be a new game genre. Actually it is. Its when you place the platforms you then use for jumping.

“Then he ends this bit by grabbing his NES shelf and tipping it over. Oh yeah, I’m sure that’s doing a lot of good for the games. Just tossing them to the ground like that, go ahead and make all the legit retro game collectors watching cringe. In fact, you don’t care. These games are nothing more than a prop to you. You only use this room for your YouTube job. You don’t actually care about gaming.”

Oh yeah, just write stupid shit, and make all the intellectuals cringe Am I talking to myself here?. In fact you don’t care, you just wanna get in Irate Gamer’s pants and are angry at the rejection If you want to be lazy and can’t find cracks then just use freud logic and say your opposition wants sex. 9 out of ten chewbaccas agree 😀 How many years have you dedicated to trying to circlejerk? Please answer the question batdamn

“All he really said about the game was that it was hard. The difficulty looks fair, it doesn’t look insanely cheap like other “bad hard” games.”

So you haven’t even played the fucking game…. Why would make all these assumptions unless you thought your drones would be stupid enough to let you get away with it? Why would I have to use good grammar structure when writing stupid sentences?

Well there you have it an honest unbiased look at Batdan’s idiotic shit-stained bullshit. How has this guy not been exposed as a fraud yet? HOW HAVE I NOT BEEN EXPOSED AS A FRAUD BY THE IRATE GAMER COMMUNITY UNTIL AFTER I COMPLETED THE OPERATION?

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