This article is not finished (edit it now is finished) if you are reading it you probably used the password that’s already known. In truth I could simply set it so the article publishes itself and without anyone knowing but during the period in which the article is private or password locked I contact several people I know and ask them for submissions and to proof read etc.
Now for the article
Originally this article was going to be called “Insanity: doing the same thing but expecting different results” but that title has already been used so it would be pointless to write the same thing twice. Eric Gaede, aka Asalieri, has decided that he wants to continue to piss people off by removing videos that contained him e-begging and him insulting other people who now have every legitimate grievances against him in a sad attempt to continue using the same pathetic defenses he’s already been using. Eric… no matter how many times you say that an incident is “in the past” and “resolved” the truth is its not resolved because the pain you caused is still there and by refusing to do anything about it you’re just letting people know that you like to run away from problems which only makes them more persistent. In fact several of Asalieri’s videos which have been deleted have simply been put back online by people who are well aware of Eric’s method of “resolving” issues.
Just because you deleted it and disown it doesn’t mean you don’t have to answer for what you’ve done Eric Gaede! You’ve told me to use your full name and stated that you’re not a troll… then why is it that you can’t ever solve a problem? A murderer who uses a gun to kill someone and then disown his gun and throws in a furnace is still going to jail for murder. Likewise the asshole which is Eric Gaede can delete his videos as many times as he wants, because quite frankly it will be back and message you preached in that video will still come back to bite you in the ass. Heck part of the reason why people hate Eric Gaede is the fact that he can’t review things but feels to need to call other people bad reviewers based on no evidence.
Nowhere is this more prominent in the video he made recently as of November 25th.
A one view wonder on the video ‘How to Make SLIME for kids’. First things first, the video itself, which is fairly harmless but the host of the show seems nervous and there’s the Ghostbusters theme running throughout the background. All in all I would agree that this video is pretty shit given that it seems to be made on a budget of 5 bucks, the children don’t need to be there and its pointless trying to tell us how to make slime if you don’t zoom in and show us the hand motions needed to make the slime. Instead we’re stuck with an overview shot of the lady and two kids while they mix the ingredients into slime in a tiny plastic container and we can’t see anything because we are in an overview shot. Since there’s no manning the camera and no time for editing we don’t even get to see the product up-close which means we don’t get to see the texture of the slime (arguably the most important part of a slime). In short the video could definitely be considered amateurish but it’s not really worth pointing out. There’s no major failures in the video (that aren’t caused by being low budget) and there’s nothing really funny to comment on. It’s bad sure but not the funny kind of bad. Why do this video anyway? Retsuprae has ethics to deal with and they still managed to find a series of videos where some guy fails to beat an easy boss 20 times and then has to use a cheat move to win (and spends over 3 videos worth of time trying the beat the boss and even includes a phone call because he’s too lazy to edit). My only guess is because Eric Gaede just loves plastering children, I mean why not? He uses his daughter for freaking views all the time. Heck this probably wouldn’t be bad if Asalieri actually brought up good points like the one I just mentioned… he doesn’t.
Now for the first time, I will actually do a full text review of his latest ‘one view wonder’ including time stamps.
Description of the video: Pay attention to the part where it says “we take a look at what’s left of YouTube’s search function, which has gone the way of the dodo thanks to Google plus and their terrible website designs”. This is going to bite him in the ass. “So here’s what you can find on YouTube today if you put in the search “crafts”. That is, very little to do with crafts” Oh this is really going to bite him in the ass.
0:00-0:09 Jesus Chris Eric Gaede! Do you know the phrase “turn it fucking down”? The volume here is so loud compared to the rest of video I’m surprised that he isn’t the subject of this ‘one view wonder’ video. With video making skills like that, I’m surprised your fans aren’t deaf Eric!
0:10 Asalieri says he’s our best friend… because best friends lie to each other and get them to do nasty things to other people over fake evidence. Eric talks about League of legends for some reason because that’s what you do in a video meant to entertain and inform people, make it a fucking Vlog.
0:23 Eric Gaede says it’s the holiday season… hmm that strange my calendar doesn’t have any holidays list in November aside from day light savings (if you think remembrance day is a holiday then you have issues). I find it funny that anti-capitalist Eric Gaede who hates it when people earn money for doing what they like is embracing the notion that November is a holiday season a notion only embraced by shop owners who want you to buy presents earlier.
Edit: Since Asalieri is American (despite hating freedom) there’s a chance he could be referring to thanksgiving… of course that doesn’t make any sense since he didn’t even bother calling this a thanksgiving video or even doing a thanksgiving craft video. Instead the closest he got was turkeys made out of hands.
0:32 A picture of something hideous holding something equally hideous but sprite looking appears with the words buy our perlers and flashing the message ‘shameless plug’. Just because you write the words ‘shameless plug’ doesn’t change the fact that you’ve aggressively marketed them. What the hell do perlers have to do with holiday crafts!? Not only that but are you honestly trying to market something in a video series meant to entertain and inform? That big NO NO you’ve been making a lot of fuss about Eric? Do you like being a hypocrite or is this just you ‘telling it like you see it’? Even if this a joke I can’t write it off as funny, you are selling perlers of other franchise’s characters, that’s copyright infringement which is funny because you also seem to say other people are unoriginal and don’t add anything to the genre they’re in. This a another major problem with Eric Gaede, he hates advertisements but it’s hard to find a video he has made that isn’t an advertisement for another channel or a service provider.
0:37 Eric lists a bunch of holiday crafts listing turkey out of hands twice, some other word and some random object that is unidentifiable since he cuts himself short. I don’t get the turkey’s out of hand or literally the kind of joke he’s trying to make here. Is he trying to say that holiday crafts are unoriginal? Is he trying to say that holiday crafts are boring? I don’t get it. Afterwards Eric Gaede says he wants to play more league of legends, considering how utterly bullshit this video is I’m not surprised he made it in a rush. Speaking of league of legends, anyone care to check whether Eric Gaede is the kind of player we expect him to be?
0:48 Eric says ‘let’s see what we can find today’ and types crafts into the search bar. You can clearly see that he has set the filter to ‘today’ which means that the search bar is working as intended. I now will refer to the description of the video where he says that YouTube search system doesn’t display anything remotely resembling crafts…. I will not rage but I will tell readers to go ahead right now and do a YouTube search and see if you find any of the videos that Eric Gaede has in this video. Oh wait that’s right you can’t! why? because Eric set it to fucking ‘today’ as a filter result so NO Eric you can’t write this off as shitty video because ‘YouTube’s search system fucked up’ like you wrote in the description. THE SYSTEM IS WORKING AS INTENDED, LEARN TO USE IT! I would also like to note how shallow this is, no one is going to find YouTube’s system shitty if you search using the ‘today’ filter. That means all it takes is a day to pass and the video isn’t relevant anymore. I would like to remind everyone that he honestly thinks he didn’t search using the filter ‘today’ since he wrote ‘So here’s what you can find on YouTube today if you put in the search crafts’ as ‘how to make slime for kids’ will show up if you make a search for ‘crafts’ in and around the time he made this video. NOT ONLY DOES THAT NOT HAPPEN BUT HE HAS THE BALLS TO PRETEND THAT THIS IS A RECOMMENDED VIDEO. Why else would he write that that YouTube’s search engine is broken? This is a textbook example of Eric Gaede lying again and it’s this shameful conduct that prevents him from being entertaining. Victimization is not comedy and if a real person has to be burnt for the joke then they had better have done what it is you’re making fun of them for otherwise you’re a major asshole. Case and point, picking on two little children and a lady doing an obscure very low budget show isn’t funny unless the lady did some major screw up like having a freak-out or swearing or mistreating the kids. Oh and you can easily see he lied, the video was only 10 hours ago… because YouTube recommends videos that have never been watched. Oh and someone made a screenshot of a YouTube search for ‘crafts video’ and guess what? No non-sense.
Is this Eric Gaede trying to jump on another bandwagon? The dead and tired trend of Google+ Bashing? The comment system may be broken with controversial comments getting more views and no character limit but that doesn’t mean the search system has been changed.
1:15 okay so Eric Gaede starts watching the video and not commenting on anything important and here’s where ANOTHER problem starts up. The lady says what they’re going to make (slime) and the kids get excited. Then smash cut to a reaction shot of Eric Gaede getting his hands stuck to his mouse. Uh okay? Eric Gaede… are you getting off on this? I know you don’t like getting your hands dirty in public and you have no trouble getting them dirty in private but that’s just disgusting; we don’t need to see you getting your hands stuck to the mouse (I guess he’s playing League of Legends as there are sounds in the background but quite frankly I don’t get the joke… it takes 30 minutes to play a decent game of that and its only been 15 seconds into the review material… ADD much?). Real talk now? Okay seriously, this is a major problem with this video and probably the whole series. What required a reaction shot? For someone who hates TGWTG and says people like Linkara are a piece of shit it’s strange that Eric Gaede would pick a reviewing format that is concept for concept identical to several major reviewers on TGWTG. You know the format, show clip of something really bad then reaction shot the show host saying something witty as a joke, or puking or dying or trying to commit suicide. But there’s no reason to make a reaction shot here! What’s the joke? That Eric Gaede masturbated and forgot to clean his hands? There are children in that video Eric! If that was the joke it wasn’t funny. Just like many things Eric tries to emulate (i.e. a good reviewer, a good citizen, a good person.etc) Eric Gaede seems to have tried and failed miserably to implement a formula that so many people have done successfully. I mean this text review is in that format… how do you fuck that up Eric?
1:30 The lady says that they’ll use brand-name Elmer’s glue and Eric then says that they should use generic brand because it’s cheaper and then says “I represent the competition”. Hey dingus, ever heard of people on show having to use what they’ve got? The lady said ‘we’re going to use Elmer’s glue’ not ‘you have to use Elmer’s glue’ it’s a craft show so it’s practically guaranteed they have to use quality ingredients and even then what’s to say the crazy glue has the proper chemical composition to make slime properly? The staples I bought from sparco is the same size stated for use with my stapler but it always jams while the staples I bought from S-marque manage to work just fine in my stapler. Different manufacturers, different quality. Just because it’s cheaper doesn’t mean it works; you get what you paid for. “I represent the competition” Uh no you don’t and when you do you do it very poorly. Heck tell that to Kyle, the guy you stalked and told everyone was an attention whore. And in addition (sigh) this joke doesn’t work because it’s a craft show it does not need to mention what glues you can use, it’s just suppose to tell you a sure-fire way to do something. What? Do you want the video to tell you what stores to go to? How would one go about avoiding this complaint? Telling viewers to make their own glue? Also Eric please keep your mouth closed, that’s just wrong and creepy. It makes it look like you’re doing something disgusting, especially since we can’t see your other hand.
1:49 The lady says ‘white kind is the one were going to be using’ and Eric replies with ‘Racist’; because the glue Eric is holding in his hand is not white glue… hurray for doublethink. Literally I have to disregard what I’m seeing to get the joke! A joke that’s not very good I might add especially since I have never seen black glue or anything other than transparent, white or purple. Top notch writing and editing there!
1:57 The lady says ‘you need one and half cups of glue’ and Eric annotates that it should be a lot of fun to measure that (I assume sarcastically). I don’t even need to tell you this is stupid since anyone familiar with cooking should have a FUCKING MEASURING CUP. How do you not know how to measure Eric?
2:00 Eric talks over the lady and says that they’ll need to use glad brand equipment to get the job done. I believe he makes a science fiction joke here as he mentions ‘time shifting’ because… that’s funny right? Right? I don’t even get what the complain is here unless he’s trying to say that the lady is blatantly marketing in which case Eric proves himself a hypocrite since he just advertised for crazy glue and not the kind you can find in a dollar store for cheaper. NEXT
2:13 The lady mentions using generic starch and where to buy it and Eric counters by saying that you can make it by squeezing it out of corn. I don’t… I just… What are The standards here? Every Critic has his standards for what is good, for example Gordon Ramsay hates microwaves, premade food, canned food and waiters not getting tips. He has long list of things he hates buts it not a contradictory list and it’s important to pay attention to because those are things that make a poor restaurant. Eric Gaede is a critic of YouTube videos and in this instance he is reviewing a craft show but his standards appear to be, don’t advertise brand name products and don’t tell the viewer to buy generic products. So the key to not get yelled at by Eric Gaede is to not exist, well that makes sense considering that was his attitude to the guys at the Irate Gamer sucks blog (he even argued that they not even human and in addition denied them freedom of association) as well as Kyle as well as many other people even his betrayed friend Game Boob. I would like to note that this is just unfair harassment now and I would also like to note that the when this article was being written the video ‘How to Make SLIME for kids’ had 18 thumbs down for no reason proving once again that Eric Gaede’s fans are people who enjoy the harassment and bullying of people who are weaker than them. I would also like to note that having contradictory standards and using them to justify harassment of others is what bullies do.
2:34 The lady says she will have 1.5 cups of starch to add to the 1.5 cups of glue and Eric Gaede says that there’s no point to say and that she should just say to take half and half. Two problems with this, one it’s a craft show, they have to say how much ingredient they are using! Two Measurements are needed to give audiences a scale on product to ingredient ratio, maybe you need 1.5 cups of starch and glue to get a decent amount of slime? Ever consider the genre you are reviewing before you make stupid statements Eric?
3:09 Eric says that the slime is toxic… despite being made out of Elmer’s glue (which is safe to eat) and starch (which can be treated with water and you know, actually watching your kids… also the dilution of starch by the glue makes it theoretically non-toxic… you eat starch every day you know? Pure starch is bad though). I would like to note that Eric has a point here in that kids are likely to attempt to eat the slime (theoretically safe isn’t the same as safe) and the video doesn’t tell you not to eat the slime (that’s lawsuit material).
3:41 Eric Gaede says that adding food colouring will make the kids more likely to eat it. Seriously Eric, I know your fat and shit and I don’t really like to make fun of people for their weight but how long are you going to go without mentioning that there is no warning on not eating the slime? Obviously this is for kids aged 4 or higher and the parent isn’t supposed to use it as food… THIS IS A CRAFT VIDEO NOT A COOKING SHOW.
4:05 Eric says that the slime isn’t something the kids want to play with. You suck Eric. The video shows the other girl not wanting to touch but you callously ignore the fact that they’re female (assuming the dumbass gender roles that media has set upon our kids) and the fact that other one is happily playing with the slime! Have you ever played with silly putty? What about Halloween decorations? What some dumbass kid is going to eat slime off the floor? This is accentuate the negative at its worst and it’s not funny.
4:28 Oh boy, Eric decides to take a look at the channel that produced this video, because personal harassment is A-OKAY! He argues that the channel has 3 subs therefore it sucks… because you know, your channel has less than 600 subs… clearly one view wonder is great show and gets many thumbs up from other assholes who are fine with unjustified bullying. He makes fun of several other shows without watching them because that would require research and effort.
5:05 Eric takes a look around his obviously modified and faked YouTube search and finds GTA videos and non-craft related videos. I say faked because I did use YouTube to search and set the filter to ‘today’ and I did not get random videos. My first page of results was nothing but crafts and craft related channels. Did you have to resort to lying again Eric? After a while of boring, Eric decides to watch a Russian paper crafts video… because the fact that its Russian won’t interfere with his ability to review it.
5:20 Eric asks what’s with the commercial music and then says a dumbass line about going to st.petersberg for paper cake… because being ignorant and not even attempting to check the video description is a just another sign that your Eric Gaede. Eric Gaede simply voices over the entire video.
Edit: He says St.Petersberg is soviet… because that’s humor even the Russians who changed the name of the city from leningrad to remove soviet connotations would find this tasteless joke extremely hilarious and worth giving the video a thumbs down over. Seriously what was the joke he was trying to make? Was he trying to make a satirical joke about how this is an advertisement? Well its not like it was telling you how to make the cake. Maybe Eric should stop faking his youtube searches and writing in “how to make paper crafts” before he complains about advertisement videos.
5:48 Eric advertises for Nisan. What’s the joke here? Making things up where they don’t exist? How can you make fun of people for being advertisements and cheap methods to sell product when you’ve done more advertising in this video than anyone ELSE?
5:59 the video ends and Eric goes to look at other videos and says that it sucks that the word crafts doesn’t show up on his obviously rigged and totally fucked up YouTube search. Eric… did your fat fingers result in you typing something other than crafts? I’m sorry but I can’t take this level of research failure, NO one else has this problem. You can blame Google for Google+ but you can’t bash Google for no reason other than you sucking at basic functions.
6:25 Eric Gaede says that library’s have gotten pathetic because they actually have to advertise… How low have you gotten Eric Gaede Mr. I have to advertise practically everything, be a hypocrite in every department, and get my gullible fans to give me free stuff!? Can you even do research? I highly doubt you did this video in one take, I mean there had to be editing, there had to be a Google search. Library’s are the location for a lot of advertisements, even McDonalds has used a library in ad before. It’s not a stretch to say the library itself will have commercial for it? How are people going to know they have a local library if someone doesn’t spread information about it? Library close and open all the time, my local library just finished construction. Heck Stephen King advertises for libraries http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFW0j2VNs60How does having an ad make someone or something pathetic? You’re the guy who is always advertising for another friend, this video you just advertised for your own product! You even advertised for a deadbeat re-pro cartridge producer who is literally bankrupt! Why isn’t this video over!?
6:35 The commercial says there is content and Eric says by content they mean lots of books… Have you even gone to library Eric? You really should have experience with the things you rant on. Content means having the important books not the books like mangas or ‘Robot commando’ but books that you know, are for education… the ones you don’t eat?
6:51 A bunch of quotes are shown and Eric says that the quotes are equal in cultural impact sarcastically. You do realize that those quotes come from entirely different time periods right Eric? Heck you don’t even note that he quote about paint isn’t a famous quote. Those words were probably revolutionary when paint was first domestically used, but it doesn’t change the fact that you only looked at two before commenting as the rest of the quotes are from fictional sources showing that the library has famous books. The first quote was history, the second was a painting guide, the third was from hunger games and the fourth was from ‘Where the Wild Things Are’.
7:07 Eric Gaede says “goddamn you for making us obsolete” implying that the internet has made library’s worthless. Because we don’t need hard-copies of important data or literature and there’s no such thing as an E-library. Fucking dumbass
7:17 Eric says he can’t understand why Libraries need a slogan… because it’s clear he doesn’t know what an advertisement needs and what’s involved in it. Go home Eric you’re drunk!
7:25 Eric poorly voices the library commercial and says “don’t make us beg, at least make out in our bathrooms or something, we miss people”. BATHROOMS!? GO OUTSIDE ERIC, VISIT THESE ‘LIBRARIES’ YOU DON’T SEEM TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT! Libraries are very busy places, you do realize they offer internet terminals right? He then complains that the commercial gives the libraries internet address and states that the commercial is ‘giving up’ because it’s not important for the viewer to know how to get more information about the product in the advertisement…. are you sure the guys are the Irate Gamer Sucks blog need to evolve? Because you don’t even seem to know what a commercial is let alone how to stay on topic.
7:46 The commercial ends and Eric says that there isn’t any crafts video on YouTube… IDIOT YOU HAVE THE SEARCH RESULTS INAPPROPRIATELY TAMPERED WITH.
7:55 Eric decides that he will now bully definitive Television by watching the other videos. The video ‘http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQjIVrfBLdo’ plays and I should note that this video also has 14 thumbs down though to be fair it’s kind of pointless and horrible. The next video is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MebHsGBNlFs but it’s worth noting that the Asian guy is a freaking parody as stated in the other video which features him (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8oagEiRR-8). Oddly enough there’s 200 thumbs up for this incredibly annoying video.
9:18 A commercial appears with the lady from the video involving slime and Eric says that he feels dirty and the audience should too. For what? I don’t look at women and think, ohhh can’t wait to undress her and have sex! Hey wait a minute, his hand got stuck to the mouse when he first watched the video… He WAS making a masturbation joke! You masturbated to a lady and her kids ERIC THAT’S SICK! Again no comment on what’s wrong with the video he just labels it a desperate sex appeal video and says it sad when the promise of cleavage doesn’t bring people to your channel. Uh you’re not going to say anything about the fact the video was annoying and a blatant advertisement? What about Irate Gamer’s attempts to do the same thing when he used a girl as a misleading thumbnail (his hunger games review)? Because that was the time to say it. He says the video ranks 5th in the all time popularity a another sign he didn’t do the fucking research since its actually way lower than that with the McCutcheon & Hamner, P.C. Attorneys at Law video being the highest ranking video on the channel. The Macaraindeer parody is ranked 9th. There’s no way this could change in 2 days so it’s clear there’s something very wrong with Eric’s computer or internet.
And then the video ends with nothing really important being noted aside from the channel being racist. I would agree that channel and its content is pretty shit but based on Eric’s review on it I wouldn’t be able to. What’s the point of these videos if you don’t provide appropriate commentary or criticisms? This is more like a Vlog than a review or a commentary. The title of the series doesn’t even make any sense. It’s ‘one view wonder’ so where’s the one view, and where’s the wonder? These videos have more than one view, with some of them exceeding 50k and the franchise looks like it will continue its non-fruitful existence. Saying something is a one hit wonder is a good and bad thing, it’s meant to denote that that the material is high quality but due to external circumstances, more material like it will not be made. Calling something a one view wonder… would mean that the video can only be seen once? I don’t get it.
Great Job Eric, you’ve successfully confused your opponents. We have no question to how stupid you are but we are confused as to how much stupid and recklessness you can display.