The “I’m not serious” Retcon, another symptom of the ‘oh shit he’s serious’ disease

For those of us who aren’t sure what ‘oh shit he’s serious’ disease is, imagine that some random stranger walks up to you and tells you that the world is going to end and that you should shop at macy’s and gives you a coupon; then s/he does a very bad dance and then dashes off around the corner to go do the same thing to someone else. Fairly harmless right? Well that’s because its fair and logical to assume that the person is just doing this for laughs and isn’t serious or probably involved in some weird marketing scheme. Now imagine after you just met that person you run into another person who hands you an expired coupon, yells loudly about how everyone’s doomed, starts pushing people who get too close (you included, even though s/he walked up to you) and does a dance that can be aptly described as a seizure and then proceeds to go around the corner to do that to someone else. What’s that? You pulled out an air taser and shot him in the face with it? Well welcome to ‘Oh shit he’s serious’ disease where some jackass who thinks they’re having fun isn’t paying any attention to how reckless and sociopathic they appear to everyone else.

Speaking of the ‘Oh shit he’s serious’ disease let’s see what Pearse Hillock had to say about his own anti-sucide rant that was so poorly phrased it at one point stated that the victim should have killed their family before killing themselves.

Yea I know what I write is a load of shit, I just write like that and when I act serious im just pretending. I honestly don’t even care about the shit I write about, it was just kinda like a hobby, a really bad one at that. Anyhow im just tired of doing this and stopped over a month ago.

And here we have the “I’m not serious” retcon for TV tropes viewers you’ll know this as ‘parody retcon’ where the content of the medium is supposed to interpreted in a satirical manner. But here’s the problem, where was the sarcasm or lack of seriousness in that article Pearse Hillock? At what point is the viewer supposed to realize that you weren’t serious? This blog never had to deal with “oh shit he’s serious disease” after the “I’m not serious” retcon because the ‘angry’ articles were clearly a hoax and like two minutes of effort were put into them (there’s an all star batman joke in there too). Saying “I’m not serious” now is like taking a gun shooting several kids and their mother before dropping the gun in front the police and saying “I didn’t mean to kill anyone”. What were you expecting Pearse Hillock? That people would see the words “He’s going to hell” and laugh with you!? That doesn’t even remove a single argument made against you in the previous article. If you weren’t serious why pick something recent? Why not pick Hitler or fucking Genghis khan? Why pick something that has affected so many people? Because its not that “you weren’t serious” but that you don’t fucking understand what other people feel and think. You wanted attention and its clear that you wanted it quickly. Why else would you spread your stupid opinion across multiple youtube channels and comment sections? Have you done anything to show other people you aren’t serious? You started a blog, its been there for several years, the article is still up and there isn’t a disclaimer. This isn’t an apology anyone will accept, this is just you trying to justify what you did to yourself Pearse!

Of course its probably pointless to argue with Pearse Hillock since apparently to him, he doesn’t take his work seriously but is content with spreading to every single person he knows, posting it publicly for other people (especially those affected by the victims suicide) to see and and clearly spending the time and effort to write these articles and include pictures in them. I could call Pearse Hillock any number of things right now but I sincerely believe that the only thing that should be called right now is the insane asylum because  an individual named Pearse Hillock really needs to comprehend reality and stop lying to himself. Protip: If you aren’t serious about something, removing it might be a good idea and if anyone asks why you removed it, you tell them that you refused to stick up for what you wrote because it sucked. That’s how you be a SANE person.

And now its time to take a look at what is hopefully the last article of the completely ruined Cinema Snob Sucks blog. “The Aftermath of… Death” (Victim name withheld, same rules apply here, no mentioning the victims name in the comment section!)

“I was gonna type this up a few days ago but a few problems occurred,”- First sentence AND a comma splice, this is going to suck isn’t it?

“for those of you who want to listen to my story continue reading for for those who want what this title is about then skip ahead” Still first sentence but it really should be the second since this one does not following the premise of the statement before the comma.

I also love how stupid this is too. If you don’t want people to give a shit about it then why write it? Also how far should they skip ahead? Two paragraphs? One paragraph? Its impossible for anyone to skip reading Pearse’s dumbass life story because he put it in the text and the only way to skip it is to read it first and then skip a few lines and see if its still going!

“This isn’t for you to feel sorry for me or whatever your want to think, it’s just the reason why this was sort of delayed as I want to share it with you guys. Nothing more, nothing less.”- End of first paragraph, comma splice, sentence fragment and vague writing detected!

So the story is included not because readers should feel sorry for Pearse but its also not for any reasons that the readers can think of… so that means the story is pointless? This is what I mean when I call Pearse a sociopath, its this callous disregard for the meaning of language and semantics of what words even mean that have me absolutely shocked by how anti-social its phrased. This isn’t something a five year-old who doesn’t know how to write would crap out by accident, this something a clear sociopath who is clearly trying to get attention but without acting as if they want attention. Pay attention to the use of a specifically specific denial, “isn’t for you to feel sorry for me” followed by a completely incomprehensible “whatever you want to think” meaning that Pearse could understand that people would interpret his story as a SOB story but not as anything else AND here he is posting it knowing that the first and only interpretation is that its a SOB story.

*SIGH* well let’s take a look at the SOB story shall we?

“Recently I applied for a retail assistant at a recruitment agency (Yes I am unemployed actively seeking work), when I arrived I told them so and I got past the first round interview and onto the second.”- First line of SOB story, poor grammar

I would like to note that this apparently the reason why this article took so long to make, because clearly there are readers who want to read about how its funny for people to commit suicide and that people who work to help others don’t deserve compensation. Notice the complete lack of time scale here, if Pearse was trying to elaborate why it took so long for this article to be made then why doesn’t Pearse count hours and how long it takes for him to go to the agency and get an interview? Thanks for clarifying that you are actively seeking work that explains why your hobby consists of making fun of other people for having a legitimate job including your recent rants on youtube about how Angry Joe should fund his show out of his own pocket.

“The next day we got sent out half way across the city to observe door to door salesmen (For 5-6 Hours) who accompanied us, I applied for a retail assistant but this happened for some reason but I was ready to take anything so I took down notes, observed how it all operated and the experience was good.” – Hurray some timescale but broken paragraph flow

Okay first off, the last sentence ended with onto the second interview. What happened during the second interview? We’re just going to have to assume that Pearse passed the second interview because now he’s doing some sort of co-op sales job. Yes Pearse as a retail assistant you are expected to help people do retail and hilariously enough, why didn’t you ask them what the job was at the interview?

“They offered me the job and I happily accepted, the next day was my first training day in where I learned the ropes of the trade for an our or two and then again was sent off to observe more door to door sales” – paragraph 2 of SOB story

Accepting a Job without knowing the terms, I can see where this is going.

“I did that for 4-5 hours (Meant to Finish by 9:00 that day and again only learned after I was out there) and asked what hours am I working and on what’s days, what words I received next struck a dagger in my heart. I was told that I was too work 6 days a week Monday-Saturday with work hours from 11:30 am to 9:00 pm being paid by commission, that right there shocked me. I knew how I would be paid but I was never told my hours or workdays and what the job required was too much for me so I told them half way through the first training day that I am reconsidering the job and left.” -Called it

Great job Pearse, you took a full-time Job and then immediately blew it. I can understand blowing the retail Job though, those jobs suck and most of them drive employees crazy but then again you should have known that and its imperative you dodge jobs like those in favor of jobs that pay per hour on a set basis. Again I don’t see why this story needed to be told since its not like this story really prevented the article from being made, Pearse worked for 1 day and then quit while more unlucky people have worked for entire month and then don’t get paid because they didn’t earn enough sales and thus get fired by union laws. Why is a one day setback worth mentioning? Heck he didn’t even work the full day, he just worked for 4-5 hours. This article looks like it should only take at most an hour to make.

“Days of hell, I was tired and bombed out afterwards and thus this post was pushed back not that anyone cares but there you have it. Now onto the topic at hand.” – End of SOB story. Even though reading it was free I would like to ask for my money back.

Yeah “days of hell” that was clearly hell in terms of suffering. I mean could you be anymore self-centered? You just lost maybe two afternoons and now you’re going to rant about how someone’s suicide is not very important (thereby implying the victim’s life wasn’t very important either) and that those effected should shut the fuck up. Wow I feel so sorry that you’re first world problems are just so bad, the people in North Korea and South America and Cuba clearly don’t have things nearly as bad as you have it Pearse. This was a story that clearly explained how herculean and impossible it would be to lose 8 hours total and still write a shitty blog article that has grammar and spelling mistakes littered through it without a single attempt to actually think about what other people would feel and lies repeatedly about other people. Clearly 8 hours of suffering isn’t enough for you Pearse because that wasn’t enough to make you consider the notion of shutting the fuck up.

“It has been a while since he has departed and many people paid their respects faithfully towards him like The Game Chaser’s, for the purpose of this blog im only gonna talk about those internet reviewers that I myself know as I don’t watch much of them overall.” – Start of the actual article.

I just love the doublethink here. Did Pearse say last article that he doesn’t think people should be allowed to mourn and that the victim deserves no respect? And “purpose of this blog”? What purpose your blog is random as a all fuck Pearse!

“I also want to get things straight, I don’t hate or dislike *redacted* and I only know him from The Game Chaser videos. Nothing more nothing less”

Yes Pearse, I as a reader totally understand that you don’t hate the suicide victim because saying that suicide victim is going to hell and deserves no respect is just the kind of things I expect from anti-social psychopath who can’t decide if they care about being a good person or not (assuming they can even define what a good person is).

“he seemed to be a happy friendly guy but what happened.”

Yeah exactly what happened to this sentence fragment? AND WHERE THE HELL DID THE REST OF THE SENTENCE GO?

“I think that his personal project Kamen Rider didn’t kick off as he needed money and help to get it off the ground, I know that from when The Game Chaser’s brought it up in a video. I believe that this what was involved in making him do it, that’s my thoughts on what happened.”

So Pearse, you don’t hate or like this guy but you feel perfectly content to speculate on the causes of his death turning his death into a cheap excuse to empower yourself and act as a detective.

“This is how you send off a friend, this was more than either Cinema Snob, Angry Joe or Spoony One did because they just pretended to be his friend because they never promoted him when he was alive”

This is why I’m fairly sure that Pearse Hillock is an Asalieri fan. I mean this is the logic that Asalieri subscribes to; the idea that friends commit cronyism to help each other. Asalieri has promoted services that don’t work, people who are banktrupt and usually using circumstantial evidence at best. How many people actually have friends who literally hold their hand through their entire life. Friends are friends, aka people you can talk to and who will help you will you ask them to. Why Cinema Snob, Angry Joe or Spoony needs to promote the suicide victim on their show to be friends is beyond me. Judging people for the sake of judging people is a clear sign of psychopathy and need for help. Pearse please get psychiatric help, you clearly need to sort some basic ideas out.

“It’s unbelievable what he did, Angry Joe forced out false tears while looking off screen to read a script. I noticed that myself and this guy right here points everything out and angry joe did monetize the video. I don’t even have words to explain how wrong that was and Angry Joe denied it even though it’s a fact and there is proof.” – oh this is going to be rich

Oh great a link to a video that is clearly false is taken as proof. There’s not a single hint of irony or sarcasm here from Pearse. So that shit he wrote about not being serious, yup, total bullshit.

“When Angry Joe did his tribute video people raged in the comments section and here is a bunch of them, also the twitter rage when he was confronted with it.”
Yes because people should not be angry when others imply or outright state that they are not emotionally distraught or in anyway affected by the deaths of their friends and co-workers. Hey Pearse, seriously consider seeing a psychiatrist, you really freaking need one.

What follows are several images that are screencaps of comments most of which no one supports and its worth noting that the few thumbs up there are a result of youtube’s broken rating system in which the thumbs down button doesn’t really work. Pearse tells people to read the last image in the batch but there’s no reason to because its a just a comment that essentially says “people should investigate the suicide victim’s death”. Oh really? Circumstances of death should be investigated by local police, what a shock? I thought we just leave dead people where they lie but then again if the police saw Pearse Hillock dead on the streets they probably would think he’s pulling a ketchup prank again because he’s such an attention whore. Okay I’m pretty sure I went too far on that last one but let’s face it, this is “OH Shit he’s serious” disease at its worst. There’s nothing funny about speculating about someone’s suicide and its even more disgusting that pointless drama is being cited as evidence that Angry Joe is “faking” tears. It’s disgusting that people are so easily swayed by fake evidence just because it gives them an excuse to get quick publicity. Pearse, if you wanted to get attention just run out onto the street and throw your clothes to the wind and run around waving your crotch at everyone. It’s the same thing you’re doing here, just with morality being thrown to the wind instead.

I sure hope Pearse that you wrote this using a completely non-traceable alias, because now every employer and person ever knows the shit you did and how animalistic and opportunistic you are as an individual. You don’t care about the suicide victim you just want attention and now that you have it you decide “Whoops its isn’t what I want derp, I’m not serious! I swear!” Get the fuck off the internet

“Meanwhile a fundraiser was started and I was shocked to notice this, they wanted to raise $850 so is that what his life was worth in damages. I don’t think they should have ever done this, I know it’s for a good cause but still.”

Yes Pearse, you’re so not serious when you speculate that a funraiser designed to reduce the strain on the suicide victim’s death is a sign of how much his family thinks his life was worth. Remember kids, if you live in Pearse’s completely broken and sociopathic world, you don’t get compensation in the event of a sudden death or injury and its wrong for anyone to try and get back to a normal life as soon as possible after a devastating event. But kids, you can also be a man (or woman) and tell Pearse to shut the fuck up. In addition, the fundraiser isn’t about compensation, its so one of the family members can travel to the victim’s funeral.

“Spoony quickly moved on and talked about wrestling meanwhile brad eats chicken, yes I did edit that for dramatic effect but you know what I mean. They just seemed to have moved on rather quickly for people in morning.”- Pearse clearly showing he has nothing against the victim, except pure hatred for his friends, his family and everyone who ever cared for him.

Ah more doublethink. Its wrong to mourn but its wrong to not mourn too; or in this case ‘morning’. Pearse, Blogs come with spellcheck… you might want to use it.

“I just wanted to archive these events for future reference, nothing more nothing less.” – I don’t think you know what “Nothing more nothing less” actually means.

Nothing more and nothing less means that its literal and that the first implied meaning is the correct one. So if I interpreted as Pearse being a total idiot then it would be nothing more and nothing less.

In other News
Oh the shits over, good because Pearse, that was the most out of touch, completely delusional thing I have ever read that shows just how much of an egocentric, disingenuous asshole you REALLY ARE. Every negative thing you wrote applies more to you than it applies to the people you’re trying to critique. The entire article is essentially a gigantic attempt to be an attention whore and all you want to do is hurt people and pretend there’s nothing wrong with yourself. Stopping taking tips from Asalieri and grow up.

33 thoughts on “The “I’m not serious” Retcon, another symptom of the ‘oh shit he’s serious’ disease

  1. Another very well-done article about a person who REALLY needs a boot to the head… and possibly other places as well, so he can’t spread his stupidity genetically. Well done as always, Lazer.

      1. well, truth be told, this time i didnt have time to watch it, but i got a bad vibe about it, specially since it was posted on April 1 (remember the Bores video?)

      2. It’s just a terrible and unfunny April Fools video with a part that absolutely disgusted me. At 0:39, he makes fun of a cat being killed by a dog. Yup, great material for April Fools, you heartless wrench. My cat died recently because of the same reason as presented in the clip he has shown.

  2. Alright then show of hands. Should I write an article about this crappy video? Yes if you think its bad even for an april fools prank (or its too stupid/serious TO be an april fools prank aka the chris bores stunt) No if you don’t really care because its the same quality as the rest of his work (i.e TERRIBLE).

    1. I also vote no. Because knowing Asalieri, he’ll make it very obvious when he’s using april fools as an excuse to harass people (i.e he still hasn’t gone back the Irate Gamer stunt). Thus there’s 2 things that can happen.

      1. Asalieri goes through with it and like the Irate Gamer stunt, he’ll continue to harass Jontron (or others related to him) and be massive prick about it. Thereby making it a good opportunity to make a report.

      2.Asalieri being the lazy guy he is, decides to do nothing and this really was just an april fools joke (albeit no one sane would like) and thus writing an article would be like crying wolf and being butthurt.

      Besides, people already find the video to be of poor quality (judging by the approval system) and thus there’s really no reason for me to write the obvious this “video sucks because its poorly made” argument. In addition I would really like to keep my ear drums intact as Asalieri’s videos have very poor sound control and just starting up the april fools video almost made need to see my EMT (and my psychologist).

      TL:DR An article should be reserved for people when they are substantially acting like a jackass. If Asalieiri is serious, then he’ll obviously do something heinous given his lack of finesse and need for attention and we can write one then. Writing one now will just let Asalieri pull the “I can’t get away with nuthing” card.

  3. well then, let’s leave it like that

    one thing worth mention tough.

    There is people who assumes that Asa doesnt deletes negative comments sand for a few selected individuals, just to make them look in minority.

    But the ratings on that video speal for themselves.

      1. I said that showing a clip of an animal being killed and making fun of it is repulsive. He deleted it.

  4. The next article should be about his visit to Salzburg, despite his claims about being poor he can afford to fly his fat ass to Austria:

    In the first few seconds he makes a suicide joke, I should say something about staying classy, but this is Asa we’re talking about, he doesn’t even know the meaning of the word “class” (despite his attempts to pretend that he does).

  5. Oh on a side note, Not just Bores jumped on the “James rolfe is the Devil” Bandwaggon that the manblob created, the Archfag has done it too, by appearing in the ending of the Bores latest video.

    Prepared to Cry tears of bloody Rage

    Start from 6:27

    Oh and look who is also there too

    1. Oh how heroic and utterly just of Archfiend to tell someone who’s done nothing to him to go fuck themselves. That’s nice. I can’t wait to see him partner up with shane dawson or any other person with no integrity to back up how much of a mindless drone he’s being.

      1. It also confirms a couple of things:

        1.- The Bores Stunt was real since Asa has appeared in this video, meaning they are BFFs indeed (and quite possibly that Asa was behind the E-Beggin “spoof”.

        2.- That Asa does indeed uses the april Fools day as an excuse to get away with scumy actions (such as the recent RaR againts JonTron, and lets not mention the horrible shot of the Cat Kill who i am pretty sure violates Youtube’s guideliness).

        3.- Bores has pretty much become Asa’s Puppet, probably because he needed friends, specially since he seems to tell him “what to do”.

    1. Yeah, I saw that. Pretty despicable, wasn’t it? Were it not for the fact I already hated Bores for the rest of the crap he’s pulled over the years, this would’ve put me waaaaaay over the top. As it stands, it’s just another insult to add to the pile. Regardless of how you look at it, it’s awful though.

      1. Chris Bores uses a sock account to insult his critics as is clearly obsessed with them.
        -Asalieri: Meh.

        Chris Bores makes fake contests on a regular basis in order to gain subscribers and money.
        -Asalieri: Meh. Whatever.

        Chris Bores obsesses over Skylanders to the point of pissing off fans and directly insults AVGN, from who he stole the ideas from.
        -Asalieri: Meh. Let him do what he wants.

        Chris Bores says some twisted shit about JewWario.
        -Asalieri: Whatever.

        Chris Bores e-begged for a Mega man comic and Planeswalker promo.
        -Asalieri: Don’t care.

        James Rolfe does a movie fundraiser.

        He needs a reality check.

  6. Comment from Eric’s discussion page about his appearance in IG’s video:

    “if ANY of those cowardly rats had any real balls, they’d show their faces, perhaps go into open debate about their skewed theories about us all. But no, they are perfectly content badmouthing us all from the comfort of their heavily biased, heavily censored forum where they don’t have to worry about things like accountability or telling it truthfully.”

    Someone should post why they’re prehensive about debating him. Not because he’s master of the art itself (although I’m certain he’s master of another type of ‘bating since his weight probably makes it difficult for him to have sex), but because of the two debates he’s been in he’s used tactics to either make himself look like the winner or has used bullying to try and silence his opposistion.

    Bring how during his debated against JFreedan he resorted to repeating the same topic over and over again and then started calling him a “faggot” half way through because he knew he wasn’t getting anywhere with his side of the agruement and then posted an edited version where he made JFreedan’s side inaudible.

    Don’t forget about his debated againt Doc Pepper where he needed several of his circle jerk friends to back him up and when Doc Pepper actually challenged Eric’s world view he called him a “hateful human being” and then thanked one of his friends for booting Doc Pepper out of the debate.

    I’d do it but trying to show this fat bitch about the consequences of actions is like arguing against a brick wall. Have links to these debates on hand, although I don’t know where you could find the JFreedan debate links?

    1. “if ANY of those cowardly rats had any real balls, they’d show their faces, perhaps go into open debate about their skewed theories about us all.”

      We did. There’s several articles about you Eric and you even went to the comments section to go argue over the first one about you… and lost horribly.

    2. He did Edited Jfreeda’s Discussion?, i knew about the War-room chat and when Asa and his fans were attempting to put Jfreedan in legal trouble.

      I knew about the Pedo Slander (I refuse to call it Joke, since why was neccesary?) he made in his “parody” Dipshit Ceaser, and how he insulted the entirity of anime fans with that as well.

      I knew that When Asa got flagged for violating community guidelines and harrasment, he did spin it to make it look like JFreedan was just one of those DMCA violators who flag videos ti avoid criticism (which the Bores has done in the past)

      But i didnt knew he edited the Skype chat he had with Freedan.

      1. If you want to debate against Eric, he’s currently bitching about the recent article at the Irate Gamer Sucks blog. Best to hurry before he decides to run away like he usually does.

      1. nevermind, found them, damni was oit the entire day and i have a stomach bacteria, and i found the manblob gaede trying to go in a passive agressive fury, lovely -_-

  7. Asa deleted all infavorable comments from his Discussion page. He claims, “he’s no longer interested in idiotic forced feud”, yet he said before: “if ANY of those cowardly rats had any real balls, they’d show their faces, perhaps go into open debate about their skewed theories about us all.”

    And he went before about how BatDan apparently deleted his comments in the past. Hypocrisy much?

    1. I’m considering doing an article on this incident though I’m fairly sure Asalieri won’t make the apology video I’m not sure if I should wait a little longer to make it more apparent. Should I wait longer? Or should simply conclude that Asalieri was once again lying out of his ass? Like he did in the entire conversation?

      1. I’d go ahead and write the article, considering how he’s deleted comments from others actually debating him following his exchange at the IG sucks blog, he probably wants to put the incident behind him and pretend in his own world that it never happened. If I may make a suggestion though the article should also focus on how the exchange began as trying to white knight Bores, then went to white knighting himself. Showing that when he starts a conversation about someone else it usually becomes all about him.

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