Tag Archives: Emer Prevost

Eric Gaede and feminism. One step forward two steps back

Wow I’m not exactly sure how to fully approach this subject.
This is something I wanted to talk about for a while now specifically the fact that Asalieri has gone full-blown anti-feminism. Is it an okay position to take? Sure, especially when you consider the highly vocal “feminists” (I’m gonna put them in quotations) who are rapidly becoming the target of jokes for their cronyist behaviour and inability to engage reality. The part that makes this discussion a problem however is that feminism has done good things… its just that it did those good things several years ago as opposed to right now.

Women have historically not had it good but I mean that’s kinda obvious but in the 1920’s femnist movements started and they resulted in wide-spread social progress. Women could work, women could vote and most importantly these changes lead to larger equality and better living conditions. It is undeniable that without feminism we would not have this blog for you to read but at the same time its undeniable that psychopaths have claimed ownership of feminism and (rather successfully I’m afraid) managed to push out all the other people who believed in it and became its new face. They did this entirely due to having unlawful relations with the media but in exchange now it seems both the media and feminism will go down as douchebags that helped ruin millions if not billions of lives thanks to their ego-centric and misanthropic behaviour. You might say that there’s no way western media and feminist agenda could affect this many people but you’d be wrong, the legislature is already there, there’s statistics that prove that in a divorce of a hetero-normative marriage, the male will be screwed; and its quite clear that even though statistics show that women get the most degrees in post-secondary education, women simply aren’t motivated enough (probably due to being told their effort won’t count or that they’re above working hard) to actually bother taking advantage of that. Third wave feminism has intentionally fallen victim to Jevon’s paradox, a paradox that states that any efficiency gained by improving a system will be lost to external factors such as increased use (though jevon’s paradox applies specifically to technological changes, its quite clear that feminism has managed to hit it without the use of technology). Women now have their right to employment, their right to vote, to make their own decisions and are now being told not to make them, not to work and not to seek employment because victimhood is apparently a better choice. And just to ensure there will be animosity between genders, females are getting severe leniency in courts while men can be accused of sexual assault with no evidence or harassment again with no evidence and get the next 10 years of their life messed up. Oh and if you complain about any of this, they’ll be pricks and claim you are misogynist woman hater because… well you know what I can’t and never will understand their insane ego-centric thought processes.

So it shouldn’t be surprising that I don’t find Asalieri’s choice to crap all over modern third wave feminism a bad idea since its an appropriate target, they do totally deserve every criticism and penalty they can get (sans death) and its also refreshing to see Eric Gaede spend time bashing something that completely deserves every criticism it gets.

Unfortunately Eric continues the tradition of “sticking it to my enemies regardless of how hypocritcal and non-self-aware I look” by not bothering to address his previous behaviours. Reviewers ADD also hits him heavy as he keeps flip-floping from being anti-feminist to playing video games to talking about #WTFU then back to making shitty RARs (which are really just thinly veiled insults towards people he doesn’t like at this point). It’s no surprise that Eric can’t keep an audience unless he’s causing drama but that won’t stop him from claiming that he doesn’t do drama or that everyone else is a just a drama queen. There’s been a large happening in his continued to crusade against Emer prevost but I’ll talk about that later.

Instead let’s view the maturity in which Eric Gaede tackles Third wave feminism.

Oh okay… he makes a character called Femfreq and then gets em killed. Well the goal was to get killed in that manner so I suppose that was okay…
I wonder if he does realize that’s a really depraved and pathetic way to act. You don’t see any of Eric’s detractors creating characters in multiplayer games called Eric Gaede and getting them killed. What made him think this was a good idea? Bonus points for this video coming right after his 1984’d video on how he doesn’t do personal attacks, drama or death wishes/fantasies.

So Eric starts the review with a misleading sequence in attempt at comedy where he acts angry that people keep taking movie classics and mangling them. The joke is that he is actually talking about another scene in a entirely different work called “legends of tomorrow” because it uses a scene that is highly reminiscent of Back to the Future. The problem is that mangling a movie classic would require remaking the movie and legends of tomorrow isn’t a remake nor does the scene in question plagiarize the back to the future scene as opposed to just appear similar. But hey humor isn’t his… well lot of things aren’t his strong set.

1:07 – 1:37

No seriously Eric attempts to pass of a 2013 event in U of T as a 2016 event reacting to James Rolfe’s recent decision to not address the new ghostbusters movie. There’s text and everything. “SJW reactions to a peaceful boycott of a movie online”. Yeah last time I checked it was SJW’s claiming that gamergate had time machines not the other way around Eric.

1:38 – 1:51 Eric shows the clip from AVGN’s video… yo numbnuts, this is the crap that gets you screwed for DMCA and youtube community guidelines. I thought you said don’t use other people’s clips?. Either way, AVGN’s clip contains the part where James says he won’t review ghostbusters because that would playing into the bile fascination. He figures that its going to suck so there’s no reason to contribute to its financial earnings.

1:52 “Quite right james” -Eric Gaede

Wait what? WHAT?

2:10 “tell the world you won’t support a shitty movie. god forbid you should incurr the wrath of dane cook feminist of the year”

You know its really sad when a guy who makes constant unfunny rape jokes is being totally accepted into the “feminist” community. What you were expecting me to criticize the quote? Sorry Dane cook sucks.

2:55 Eric Gaede rants against Devin Faraci.

Nope no criticim here. Devin Faraci can go and meet the real ISIS and see just how much more respect he really does have for them. Because according to Devin, people who want you to demonstrate decency and respect for journalistic guidelines that you’re suppose to follow in order to earn money are obviously worst than terrorists who kill and behead innocent people.

2:50 “think about how sad it is that extreme third wave feminists are hinging their hopes on fucking ghostbusters”

*sigh* Eric you’re taking this way too far again. Third Wave feminists are unlikely to be using ghostbusters as a major attack. That would imply they actually have a vested interest in having the movie succeed. Its obvious that most Third Wave feminists are doing what they do because it lets them harass people while claiming victim status as well as write clickbait and make money by being contrarian. They obviously don’t care about the long-term effects and they never have. Why else would people continue to defend Anita Sarkesian repeatedly claiming she’s the sane most feminist voice around when all she does is take money and give none back? Because the clickbait makes money, contrarian is the best form of clickbait and its easier to be a feminist when you deliberately perform actions that exacerbate the negative perception of women and get people to care less about what happens to women.

3:07 Eric talks about the female fire fighters who helped out during 9/11 and how they did not receive recognition. He asks why third wave feminism doesn’t talk about them.
“yes let’s ignore the fact that the best they are hoping for to represent women is to retread ground that was already covered by men”

Well Eric I think you’ve already answered your own question. To third wave feminist anything a man can do a women can do better, that is essentially their motto. So it shouldn’t be surprising that they think that women can and should be better than the male ghostbusters. And of course I’ve already talked about their lack of long-term thinking so really… when are you going to apologize to AVGN about your frequent attempts to pin him as a harasser and a e-beggar?

3:30 Eric talks about how he was blocked by devin faraci

Eric… Third wave feminists are pushing for safe spaces because they wish to provide the impression that women are fragile and unable to take care of themselves with government intervention. One of the tools they push for is a blockbot that automatically blocks anyone based on a guilt by association algorithm. Odds are you were subscribed to people Third wave feminists hate like Sargon of Akkad. You would know this if you did a basic google search but hey whatever you don’t even know what they want much less how they operate. Oh and uh good work on not mentioning you’re repeated attempts to hurt AVGN while employing the same tactics and end goals that third wave feminists use.

Wow that sucked. Hopefully he talk about some other feminist in a proper manner.

0:00 – 0:35 Eric wastes half a minute telling viewers that the content will be annoying and that you should watch something else.

Well gee Eric you think?

0:38- 1:02 Eric says he found another feminist that spouts the “same” propaganda and refuse to debate. Unfortunately Eric makes a slip up and accidentally says “all feminists” which means you know, all of them, and thus accidentally insults every real feminist and not the joke third wave radicals that everybody hates. I would be offended but instead he decided to take a bunch of harpy pictures and shove them on screen. I have no idea what hapry has to do with third wave feminism. Harpies are known for their propensity for punishing people who have committed misdeeds. Third wave feminism will fuck you regardless of what you’ve done just cause they feel like it so I don’t understand the point of including those pictures.

1:17 Eric links to the artist’s tumblr page and gives their name too. Because harassment is a good idea and its also a good idea to not do something sane and keep the fuck away from insane people who like harassing others (I’m being sarcastic).

2:04 Eric begins reading comics really badly. This guy has the audacity to make fun of linkara while doing voices like this… *Sigh*. The first comic contains a joke where an individual says he is sick of political correctness and that everyone is thin-skinned; but the reply is that he should get thicker skin. At least I assume it was joke because that was fucking pathetic. Eric concludes this comic was a mouthpiece and since the author thinks people should grow thicker skins, that the author should grow thicker skin if they’re offended by Eric’s commentary.

I’m sad that Eric doesn’t tear the comic apart for being stupid. I mean the joke is that being angry at people being thin skinned is a form of being thin-skinned. That’s the joke. But the problem is that political correctness really is a problem, you can be fired from a major job just because people don’t like your shirt. You can have yourself severely financially penalized just for saying “rape”. You do not solve harassment by having the victim just accept the harassment. It would be nice if Eric just pointed this out… but sadly he does not.

2:32 Eric looks at a comic where a director says to wonderwoman states that female lead movies don’t make money the joke being that several characters that were female leads in their highly successful movies standing in the background. Eric says that artist is silly because IMDB says that there is a wonderwoman movie coming out.

Yo dumbass, that comic was made in 2015 possibly earlier.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/07/02/rebecca-cohen-feminist-illustrations_n_7713378.html
There was no news of a wonderwoman movie until recently. In addition it was unlikely that IMDB page existed back in 2015. Stop acting as if things you just found are suddenly new Eric. You did that last video its really shameful you did it again. Oh and if I were eric I’d tear this comic a new asshole by pointing out two of those characters is animated, and the one astronaut was in a succesful movie but not nearly as succesful as any male driven movie.
“Led by Sandra Bullock, “Gravity” grossed $269 million domestically, easily making it one of the most successful films of all time headlining an actress.” -http://www.goldderby.com/article/2014/cate-blanchett-oscar-speech-world-is-round-people-sandra-bullock-woody-allen-4738291506/
But then again I’m not Eric and I actually put effort into what I do so I guess it makes sense that Eric won’t bother to deconstruct the comic.

2:36 ” *eric shows a wikipedia page of films featuring wonderwoman* And there was a recent 2013 short film featuring [wonderwoman] too and of course all of these titles, thanks wikipedia”

Wow… okay Eric. What’s the difference between a real female and an animated one? Oh and neither of those movies featured wonder-woman in a predominate role. When they refer to woman driven movies they mean as the main fucking character not a goddamn side character. When feminists (third wave or not) refer to no female driven movies they are refering to live action movies with a female actor as the lead. DO you know how to properly portray the oppositions argument? Do you know how to do that Eric?

3:18 – 6:05 Eric reads a comic that poorly represents the Anita Sarkesian situation. The comic shows a lady saying, after a long and pointless amount of statements (such as saying that she has fled from her home, which is bullshit because Briana Wu and Anita Sarkesian are different people), that “video games aren’t perfect” at which point the audience says its heresy and blasphemy. Eric makes a bunch of analogies that are generally correct in that Eric says Anita has said much more than video game’s aren’t perfect (such as video games cause rapes and shootings) and in addition Anita has not received any real threats or danger.

This part is extremely good, Eric’s analogies are spot on and don’t miss the point. He properly deconstructs Anita’s behaviour (which is that she’s getting paid to run a narrative against gamers). So this means he must fuck up right… I mean seriously he does this alot?

6:15 “[Anita’s claims] which are now widely accepted as facts”

Wait what? Anita an accepted expert? By which sane scholar? But what police department? By what academic department? Even the UN threw this shit out the door when they saw it and they have countries not known for their human rights on their human rights council!
This is a strawman. The damage that Anita has done is bad, but its no where near as bad for gamers as it is for media, for woman trying to get in the hobby and the reputation of feminism.

6:30 to 8:00 Eric reads a comic that list a bunch of women that did things (that I’m not going to bother verifying because its pointless) and then argues that woman’s history month should be a thing. Eric then wastes a minute and a half talking about height handicapped people who did things and -then argues in favor of dwarf history month. Missing the entire point of the argument but what did I expect.

8:00 “Months dedicated to a race or gender are just such a stupid idea and don’t help people learn or give a crap about these people”

*sigh* Eric you’re the person that doesn’t even want people learning about basic science considering your stance on science and education in general. You don’t really care about informing people properly or even getting the full story. A month dedicated to a race doesn’t do anything if your as short sighted as Eric is but if you actually do care about things farther than your face then a learning month can be a springboard to ideas and understanding. That is of course assuming that people actually put effort into putting information out during that month and not be like Eric here and spread bullshit with the only occasional proper moment of good work.

8:30 Eric looks at a comic that has a man saying that a woman who only cares about woman is engaging in “reverse sexism” (woah that’s a dumb term). He states that feminists should be egalitarians since they care for all people. The woman replies that he is the reason she is a feminist (woah rude much?). Eric then promptly in a display of actual understanding and sense, properly deconstructs the comic as denoting that feminist only care for themselves and not for other men and that is a real problem. He notes that the female in the comic refuses to have her egocentric thought process questioned at all. Unfortunately Eric decides to say “being a feminist isn’t about empowerment or equality or any of that stupid nonsense. Its about entitlement”

Come on Eric all you had to say was “third wave” feminist you’d have avoided any strawmanning. Come on. So close. Ugh.

10:41 Eric reads a comic where a feminist says she belives society can be equal and that men are mature and compassionate only for another woman to come in and tell her that she must hate men because she identifies as a feminist.

Now if I were Eric I would decide to simply point out that the comic is hypocritical because the entirety of the author’s other comics do nothing but pretend that men have no compassion nor that men can understand or have maturity to tackle issues. The Author cannot pretend that men are suddenly capable of solving sexism and that feminism accepts men when the rest of the comics clearly demonstrate that men cannot be trusted and will attempt to kill people for daring to question video games or refuse to hire women even though it makes money or don’t want to learn about woman who did important things in history. The author has attempted to argue that feminism is not man hating when it makes so many assumptions about the average male that it might as well have engaged in man hating. Eric hasn’t been fucking up too much, let’s see how he handles it.

11:14 Eric decides to counter the comic by talking about things that other “feminists” have done such as arguing that women should be able to occupy seats with luggage while men cannot not, getting a man fired over a shirt and misrepresenting actual data such as the wage gap they keep lying about.

Wow that has nothing to do with the comic. Great job Eric, that strawman looks fucking fantastic. You’ve interpreted an argument against people thinking feminism is about man hating into an argument that defends cronyism, lying and harassing people for no real reason. Just like to remind Eric that I put “feminism” in quotes because third wave feminism does just as much to hurt women as it does to hurt men. It makes woman look like liabilities in the workplace (since they might accuse the employer of sexism if they’re fired or ruin other co-workers productivity due to rape accusations), it also silences them (many female gamergaters have had their opinions ignored and have been harassed too) and also makes light of real woman’s right issues (all of this discussion about western female rights is a major distraction from the absolute disaster is that is woman rights in middle east).

Sadly Erics off-topic and strawman rant continues for the rest of the video. It’s very hypocritical Eric that say the “feminists” argument is disingenuous when every argument he has ever made is disingenuous.

Oh and speaking of being disingenuous.

Let’s take a look at Eric’s response to Emer Prevost. Eric, wanting to demonstrate that he wasn’t butthurt over Emer leaving him, decided to make a 3 hour long rant session where he spill a whole bunch of accustations against Emer Prevost. Emer Prevost had the video taken down because it was harassment. Eric decided to make the video above and threw out accusations such as Emer not having a job (glass houses Eric…) and Emer being a self-centered douchebag (more glasshouses Eric). Eric refuses to believe that his constant poor behaviour was causing the relationship to deteriorate for 6 months but then again just like any “feminist” Eric doesn’t have self-awareness. Unsurprisingly the entire video is an insult to Emer Prevost demonstrating once again that Eric is only really interested in starting feuds as opposed to hurting people who actually deserve it (hmmm more parallels to “feminism”).

Finally, it shouldn’t surprise anyone that Eric complains about “Feminism” being self-centered and relying on censorship and misleading information while engaging the same tactics. Hopefully Eric and “Feminism” won’t team up in the near future.

Eric Gaede and Emer Prevost Break up. Eric gives more horrible advice on how to take care of youtube issues.

Yeah sorry guys, I really wanted to take a look at Asalieri’s I’m not a drama queen video but he deleted it and no one bothered to make a mirror of it. What a shame.

From what I can gather. Asalieri received a game from Emer as a gift but Asalieri decided to pretend he was hot shit and start complaining repeatedly about every aspect of the game until Emer got fed up and apparently things escalated so badly that they broke up.

"lust for drama" Then comes Asalieri hankering for drama. Right there on queue!
“lust for drama” Then comes Asalieri hankering for drama. Right there on queue!

Now I’m not exactly sure who to root for here. So I’m not rooting for anyone. I don’t like Emer because as described in a previous article, Emer has issues putting out quality content and seems to enjoy being really really lazy and resorts to contrarian-ism to be relevant. If for some reason you missed that article then here it is:

https://batdansucks.wordpress.com/2015/05/20/contrarian-bullshit-the-best-way-to-say-i-dont-care-starring-emer-prevost/

I don’t like Asalieri because… really? Really that question is so easy to answer I’m going to be very brief. Asalieri is a drama-monger who enjoys bullying and harassing others especially if he feels they are doing better than he is. He frequently doesn’t think anything through and makes complaints that make no sense and then pretends those non-sense complaints are him “calling it like he sees it”. Given his frequency to “call it like he sees it”, I get the heavy impression he’s blind. Asalieri was a key proponent of the anti-e-begging movement (which is thankfully dead) that used E-begging as an umbrella term for asking for help in return for something than using the actual definition of E-begging (which is to ask without offering anything tangible in return). It doesn’t really surprise me that Asalieri is happy to have the youtube DMCA policies because while he will frequently complain about losing his old channel because he stupidly kept harassing JFreedan which included but was not limited to conspiring with Batdamn to attempt to illegally sue JFreedan in multiple courts. You can see the long list of evidence in many of the previous articles I have written on Asalieri.

https://batdansucks.wordpress.com/2014/09/14/jumping-off-the-slippery-slope-asalieri-and-co-commit-thought-crime-asalieris-pointless-crusade-against-avgn-and-lame-entry-into-gamergate/
https://batdansucks.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/omg-big-shock-eric-gaede-cant-critique-ranting-robots-rar/
https://batdansucks.wordpress.com/2014/05/01/its-all-about-me-eric-gaede-shows-no-guilt/
https://batdansucks.wordpress.com/2014/04/06/eric-attempts-to-expose-a-hater-by-being-a-hater/
https://batdansucks.wordpress.com/2013/12/22/spiteful-malice-because-if-he-gets-hurt-then-im-okay-with-it-signed-eric-gaede/
https://batdansucks.wordpress.com/2014/02/08/youve-really-done-it-this-time-eric-gaede/
https://batdansucks.wordpress.com/2013/11/25/how-to-be-an-hypocrite-signed-eric-gaede-the-other-title-already-got-used/
https://batdansucks.wordpress.com/2013/10/23/insecurity-ho-asalieri-wants-to-be-a-critic/
https://batdansucks.wordpress.com/2013/10/10/grandiose-delusions-eric-gaede-the-guy-who-wants-attention-at-any-cost/

The bolded article is the one most relevant to this discussion.

“I for one will work around their system and make it work for me” – Eric Gaede on the youtube copyright system

Yeah pretty sure you didn’t manage to get the system to work for you Eric. And no having the system screw over your competitors doesn’t count as having it work for you. You know in a lot of respects I see Eric as the crabs in a boiling pot of water. You see when a crab tries to leave a pot of boiling water, the other crabs will grab that one and prevent it from leaving.

So apparently Eric’s response to youtube copyright is “as long as it fucks over the people I hate I’m okay with it because I literally don’t do anything noteworthy at all”.

Well back to the break up… Sadly since the video’s gone I can’t really have much to comment about. In the alleged video, Eric stated that he was no drama queen (because making a video about losing your friend and repeatedly insulting him and stirring up controversy doesn’t make you a drama queen right Eric?) as well as continued to insult Emer. While I don’t like Emer because of his amoral behaviour (we need only look at his still constant attempts to slander AVGN and Channel Awesome to see that) with his poor work ethic just being the icing on the cake; I still feel as if maybe Eric could make a break for it and actually get something done. I often get the impression that Eric Gaede aka Asalieri had a very negative impression on Emer Prevost aka He11sing920. But then again for all I know maybe Eric and Emer became friends not because of a toxic relationship but because they’re both assholes. Hopefully them breaking up will be for the best and we will see less stupid ass bullshit from either of them in the future.

Well that was a short article… Guess I’m gonna have to do something else. 25% of you wanted to see more Randomdce stuff. But I also think I should cover the Asalieri WTFU video. For those who don’t know what WTFU is, its a movement against youtube’s crappy copyright system. The very system that’s so broken it can get people’s videos taken down for basically no reason other than someone complained. Eric’s no stranger for saying he hates youtube but then happily bends over and to take it in the rear.

But enough about Eric’s past history let’s take a look at the video.

0:00-0:10 “Alright I’m a go quasi-radio on this one. Time is of the essence and I’m not gonna go search for too many images for this one. Sorry about that. I don’t wanna waste too much time on this one”.

Okay for starters… go quasi-radio? Was there ever fucking point to any of the images you put on constantly on your show Eric. Most of time they’re just stupid shit that can and should get you a DMCA since you don’t do anything to the pictures to make your work transformative. But at least you’re saving calories by not bothering to do something pointless. You could save even more calories by not making this stupid video but hey you said you didn’t want to waste too much time but that means you’re okay with wasting time just as long as it doesn’t pass a certain threshold (because that would take effort).

I would probably remark about the concept that Eric clearly wants to rush through the issue and not actually discuss it. But I mean that’s to be expected. I mean it goes without saying…

0:35 Eric says that he’s making this video because his friend Gaming Goose (oh well that would explain why no one watches gaming goose anymore) made a WTFU video saying that the campaign was bullshit and “thousands of people” came in to harass anyone who didn’t “toe the channel awesome party line”

Eric If you’re gonna treat the issue with such obvious contempt without explaining yourself then I think we all know why you made this video. For the drama and contrarian-ism. Let’s take a look at the views here. For starters this video as of today has 6k views, still no where near Asalieri’s subscriber count of 9k but let’s take a look at the other videos. 1.2k, less than a thousand WAY less than a thousand… hmmmm, I wonder why this video is sensation bullshit when its clear that its only thing Asalieri actually bothers to do these days?

I also didn’t know that Channel Awesome counted as a political party as opposed to advocating common sense and creative freedom but hey its good to see you know exactly how to be pretentious. I also have to adore the fact that Asalieri has to play the victim here as if thousands of people saying you’re wrong and are just being contrarian for the attention are just mindless harassers. Given that the WTFU crowd easily numbers in the hundreds of thousands if this were true Eric’s video would have over 100k views and roughly over 100k dislikes. But that didn’t happen so the harassment narrative is bullshit. Let’s also ignore irony of Asalieri’s campaign against Anita Sarkesian while using the very same tactics he uses.

0:46 Eric says that people called him and gaming goose traitors for not agreeing with the hashtag. Eric says he disagrees with the hashtag because of the people, the motives and the hypocrisy.

No I agree with those people. Eric, you are on youtube. You complain about having lost your channel and frequently do illegal shit that’s not legal by youtube’s guidelines. You take content from other people’s videos and put it in yours. You take images that aren’t yours and put them in your video. By youtube guidelines the let’s plays you’ve resorted to doing would also not be legal. IT doesn’t matter if you don’t agree with the hashtag because you don’t like Channel Awesome or feel as if they’re hypocrites. You haven’t shown any indication that don’t enjoy bending over and letting youtube have its way with you. In fact you have explicited stated several years ago that this was exactly what you were okay with doing. You deserve to be called a traitor by stabbing the very people who are defending your right to make content in the back.

0:50 Eric displays a picture of Doug Walker in a M.Bison uniform and then puts the words blah blah blah muh money.

Hey Eric, I’m gonna ask this question again. You were angry because you lost 5 bucks in an online video game. You were angry because you couldn’t spend hundreds of dollars you already had on a new laptop and had to e-beg for it (under the actual definition of E-begging too). Why do you treat other people’s attempts to earn the money they have rightfully earned with such disdain?

1:00 Eric talks about Doug Walker’s motives… and by talks about motives I mean engages in sensationlist bullshit that falls apart on basic scrutiny. “His poor little chanly wanly got taken down like for what an hour?”

Okay Eric… Please take down your channel for one hour and see if you enjoy that. In fact I know you wouldn’t enjoy this because. Because an incident of similar bullshit happened to you (and you may very well have done it to yourself).

Here you got harassed for roughly an hour by people driving to your house and asking for free games on ad that was faked. In this video you gave several indications that you made the ad that caused your harassment (the first was having a grand speech prepared, the second was not doing something sensible like putting up a sign that said “ad is not real, someone faked it” and the third was taking the video down as well as actually showing your real address and of course the fourth would making the damn video because that encourages further harassment which you didn’t continue get showing that it wasn’t someone else trolling you). But the important part isn’t that you may have made the ad so you could moral grandstand but that you did not enjoy being able to do what you wanted to do for that hour or so you got harassed.

This is the same shit that happens to youtube content creators that fall afoul of youtube copyright laws. They lose a full hour or more to this bullshit that shouldn’t have even happened. This ignoring the fact that youtube copyright law may restore your channel within in the hour but you still lost profit and time to this shit. If people responded the same way Eric does to other people’s harassment then Eric’s video destroys itself. Instead of thinking about how sad it is for Content Creators to constantly deal with harassment from the DMCA, they’ll just make fun of it “because duh they just lost an hour durr hurr” wait a second… how I am supposed to feel sorry for Eric if that’s the thought process I’m supposed to have here?
“Duh Eric just lost his chanly wanly lol now all he has to do is make another one”. You know eric if you don’t want people being insensitive to you, you might want to try actually having empathy. To paraphase undertale, I know your not human but I enjoyed it better when you pretended to be one.

1:06 “funny, Doug has a history of abusing the youtube copyright system to take down people who upload clips of his show and whatever context they put it in”

So then wouldn’t Doug Walker not want to fix youtube copyright law so he could continue to do that? I don’t get what the fuck you are talking about now. You don’t enjoy his abuse of the youtube copyright law so you want to allow abuse of the copyright law by him again? He’s trying to make it so he can’t do that shit anymore. If you hate it than that’s a good thing. It’s a like a serial killer being against murder. Sure it’s hypocritical but what’s the alternative? Do you want the serial killer to go back to killing people because it keeps him consistent?

I’m also ignoring the fact that Eric has provided no evidence of any kind to support the concept that Doug has performed dishonest DMCA take downs.

1:17 “Ask your friend AVGN, where back in 2011 he had mike matei copyright flag me for running a scathing commentary of his show”

Sure let’s go ask AVGN. Let’s go ask AVGN and where’s the fair use. Oh wait AVGN isn’t apart of that. Great strawman!

10/10 Eric! Top marks for failing to realize that AVGN and Nostalgia Critic are friends but not hiveminds.

1:25 “Doug you’re a hypocite, you didn’t care about this stuff until it hit you in your wallet”

Uh Eric… get a dictionary.

“a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, especially a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.” -Definition of Hypocrite http://www.dictionary.com/browse/hypocrite

So Eric… where you can you point me to the part where Doug says he has always cared about the youtube community and has always been against DMCA? Apathy is not hypocrisy. Apathy is hypocrisy only when someone says they’ve never been apathetic. I’m sorry I don’t see what is hypocritical about only caring when you’re the victim of something which I should note isn’t true in Doug’s case because he’s been dealing with youtube bullshit for years now to the point that he made his own site and specifically said youtube bullshit was the reason why he made that site. Sure you can be a hypocrite if you don’t care about something unless it hurts you but only if you explicitly tell victims to fuck off and Doug has never acted as if people who got hit by DMCA had it coming or that the DMCA system was good. Hell the only person doing that seems to you Eric. You don’t care about WTFU at all, you just want to stick it to the people you hate and get drama views. You don’t actually care about the DMCA shit AVGN and Doug have done because you don’t want to the fix the system so they can’t abuse it to hurt you again even though you complain so much about their apparent misuse of it. The only hypocrite here is you Eric.

We’re gonna be seeing this alot aren’t we?

1:42 Eric says that #WTFU is for slacktivists.

Oh that’s rich coming from you Eric. Excuse me Eric. Let’s list the campaigns you were involved in and what they accomplished. Oh and harassment isn’t an accomplishment:

TGWTG cruxifition stuff accomplishments = 0
Irate Gamer trolling accomplishments = 0
JFreedan harassment accomplishments = 2 (hurray for getting your dumb channel shutdown Oh and going outside for once! That’s also an accomplishment)
AngryJoe and Pissedjose accomplishments = 0
AVGN anti E-begging accomplishments = 0
AVGN anti cheetahment accomplishments = 0
Ever RAR every made accomplishments = 0
Campaign against Batdan and the Irate Gamer sucks blog = -2 (got owned badly by MrKillultra, started two pointless feuds with a blog that really doesn’t hurt anybody. -1 one other point for trying to defend Irate Gamer)
Campaign against Encyclopedia Dramatica accomplishments = 0
Campaign against Antia Sarkeesian accomplishments = 0 (lol you’ve done just as much as Anita has.. good work!)
Total Acheievements = 0

I guess when you are a slacktivist, you can only see other real activists as slacktivists. Oh and uh let’s ignore the fact that WTFU was acknowledged by youtube’s CEO and stuff.

1:47 “(in annoying voice) Let’s all whine over TFS and doug guys”

Hey Eric ever wonder why no one whined over your shit… its because TFS and Doug actually make good content. They make stuff that’s actually funny and doesn’t lead to harassment.

1:50 “Guys who whine who got their channels pulled for only a couple of hours”

…. Glass houses Eric…. Glass houses…

1:54 “and who surprise surprise all got reinstated”

Okay two things I want to point out here. Eric you have to date not gotten your old account back. That implies you actually did violate a rule and the fact that you will not point out the obvious fact that it was because you were actually harassing JFreedan. Getting your account reinstated means that you were wronged by the DMCA and yet no changes have been made to fix the constant sources of these wrongings. Second I’d like to the remind everyone that Eric enjoys giving out abuse but not taking any at all. Maybe if Eric was actually human, he’d have empathy and could realize that being wronged and having that wrong be corrected is still not better than never being wronged at all. Let’s also ignore the fact that there’s lost revenue and lost account privleges but hey Eric can’t shut up for more than an hour so I doubt he even understands the importance of not being able to do anything for several hours.

2:00 “But johnny two subs can go fuck himself. Youtube can’t ever pressure itself to give some nobody their channel back”

Uh Eric. There’s plenty of examples of low end youtubers getting their stuff back over DMCA claims. Heck Mr.Enter started out pretty damn small and he’s still able to fight DMCA claims. You have to remember that all these people you keep complaining about like AVGN, Nostalgia Critic, Team four Star all started small and they were dealing with DMCA back then too. But hey why fucking bother. Have another strawman.

Eric fails to realize that WTFU also protects the small people but hey DMCA fucks over the bigger people more than fucks Eric so why should he care? Empathy is for humans

2:10 “I was given 3 copyright strikes back in 2011 and like many smaller channels no one shed a tear over me”

Well that would be because you aren’t human Eric. I think at this point we’re at exhibit Z in terms of how non-empathic and ego-centric you can be.

2:17 “listen guys straight talk” [Puts an image of a middle finger on screen.

Oh great now you’re flipping off your audience. That’s great I’m totally listening to you. All the great mentors of history flip off their students when giving advice. Oh wait they don’t because they’re human.

2:19 “You want youtube to change”

Oh sweet here it comes. This isn’t going to disappoint. Eric did this several years ago he’s gonna do it again.

2:20 “Boycott youtube”

PFFFT HAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD. OH MY SIDES.

Welcome to tenacity ville. Population Eric Gaede!

So this is pretty much Eric’s argument. That we can’t do anything because we’re too weak to do anything. And now Eric you know why everyone hates you. Ever look at AVGN and Nostalgia Critic and wonder why they have hundreds of thousands of views while you barely get 500? It’s because they actually treat their audience with respect.

2:27 “the only way you’re gonna hurt a multi-million dollar corporation is to stop using their services”

Says the guy on youtube. Says the guy using those services right now. I’m expecting Nihilism soon.

2:36 “no hashtag is going to make youtube start employing human beings to run their flagging systems because that would be cost ineffective”

Hmmmm. Having robots that cause problems and make content creators protest and leave? Cost-effective
Or having humans that cost slightly more and prevent creators from getting fed up and leaving? Cost-ineffective in Eric’s stupid head
Or Shuttdown the DMCA system so that companies have to do their work and actually look for offending material so that youtube doesn’t have to pay for what companies are supposed to doing? Also Cost-ineffective in Eric’s stupid head.

Hmm I don’t know. I’m expecting Nihilism soon.

3:06 “They [Channel Awesome] want you to keep the relevant at a time where they’re popularity is waning”

Ah here’s the Nihilism. See everyone, Channel Awesome, TFS and all the other major youtubers are simply losing power and views. That’s why there so desperate to stop the DMCA because its totally not a problem. Because clearly they’re doing poorly despite no evidence to contrary. We should all go watch the good youtubers who are totally relevant like He11sing, Asalieri or Razorfist or Randomdce. They have the hundreds of thousands of views and make so much money that can sustain high production values. I mean just look at ASalieri’s high production values that he can afford to make this video. I mean just look at audio that sounds like it was made off a dollarstore microphone and if you listen closely you can probably hear Eric giving himself a blowjob. Well to be honest I don’t know, I can’t hear him giving himself a blowjob physically but I can tell he’s doing it because this is the stupidest shit I have ever heard.

This the narrative equivalent of doubling down. Instead of bothering to fight youtube, Eric just believes that no one can do anything and therefore you shouldn’t try anything or you’re just grasping for power and manipulating people. He’s so petty he ignores the fact that all these people are fighting to protect his stupid ass from this shit. Then again he did this when Angry Joe was against DMCA so I’m not surprised he’s doing this again. I just love how he brings up the bullshit that Channelawesome is failing and irrelevant. Yes Because that thesis you brought up several years ago that predicted an imminent collapse is still valuable several years past its due date.

3:15 “the fight isn’t real, These Two have more common interests than you might think [this is written on the screen]”

Like what Eric? Like what? Don’t just write this shit on the screen and expect people to suck it down their throats without thinking. Are you honestly trying to have a discussion here or are you just making propaganda. Oh wait I already the answer.

3:20 “none of these people care for my interests or your interests”

Yes Eric mention “my interests” first before “your interests” because clearly your needs come before everyone else’s. Oh and what do you mean they don’t care about your interests? DMCA affects everyone dumbass.

3:23 “they only care about their own bottomline [insert another picture of Doug in Bison costume running off with a bag of money]”

And….? No seriously. Let’s assume that was true. Why should we not get rid of DMCA? Why not? Let’s go back to the serial killer example. The reformed Serial killer doesn’t want to kill people anymore because she hates going to jail. It’s an entirely selfish need. So I guess we should just get the serial killer to start killing people again because hey its selfish to not want to go to jail. Same thing here. I guess we should let DMCA run free to fuck everyone because some people apparently are selfish? Nice strawman.

Fuck this I’m done. Next Article is on Randomdce as a bonus for taking too long on this one

Emer Prevost… a static character?

Wow it seems nobody gives a shit about Asalieri anymore! Well I can’t blame people, he’s done terrible things but it doesn’t change the fact that the only reason he does anything is for the attention. Should we continue to discuss his poor behaviour? definitely. Should we discuss him just for the heck of it? No, not really. The good news is people are wising up to Eric’s constant need to shout bullshit so we’re getting less and less people going on “crusades” based on Eric’s work. I heard that Eric had recently made up some more bullshit on channel awesome a while back (the new name for TGWTG) but nothing seems to have come of that so its farcry from when he said the website would die from lack of traffic or when Eric claimed crucifixion was a thing. To me, the sign that no one wants me to write about Asalieri is a good indicator that Eric simply doesn’t have any sway anymore. People watch him for his content… but they aren’t believing it. Which is honestly the best thing that could happen. I don’t write these posts to ruin these people and make people ignore them. I write them to stop their pointless hate crusades and so their content becomes primarily for entertainment and less about harassment and lets be honest here… that’s what their content is supposed to be about anyway.

But enough about Asalieri’s long-running descent into obscurity, he’s still going to claim I’m going after him despite the readerbase here not caring, let’s talk about Emer Prevost! When we last saw Emer Prevost we saw:

1. He makes frequent pointless observations that have nothing to do with the object of analysis
2. He’s easily impressed by things that aren’t really impressive. Like a random cameo of catwoman even though that cameo implies that the catwoman he liked had died.
3. He skips almost 90% of the content he’s supposed to review
4. His work is extremely lazy.
5. Emer has extreme difficulty explaining or even justifying his decisions, moral or otherwise.
6. Emer, just like Asalieri, isn’t doing so hot in the views department.
7. Emer generally gives contrarian opinions for the heck of it. Given that he can’t justify them anyway it makes sense.

Now those who paid attention to TIR system I use to rate people on this blog. Emer Prevost got an F+ on his talent score which means a grade around 40-49 or so. The Talent Score refers to an individual’s ability to make entertaining and thoughtful content. Was this an okay rating? Well let’s take a look at some his game reviews as quite frankly he’s not very good at reviewing movies so let’s see if he’s just as lazy in video games.

Special Thanks to Strump for directing my attention to his video game reviews.

Alight since these reviews are somewhat short I’ll probably do about 3 of them. Maybe more but definitely not less than 3. As per usual there will be a timestamped description of what happens during that period of time (may include quotes) followed by commentary.

0:00 to 0:12 Theme song from Hellsing (the anime) plays.

Yeah… I’d like to remind everyone that Emer Prevost stated that he’s so scared of copy-right protection that he refused to show any copyrighted material in his reviews. Even though he still has a poster of the movie in his thumbnail which could get him DMCA’d…
I would call this hypocrisy but I could assume this is before he got DMCA’d so maybe he just wasn’t as scared of copyright law as he is now. But does this mean he is less lazy?

0:13 “In 1990, Jackie Chan was a veritable unknown in the united states. In fact, the only things most people would know him for in that time would be his small roles in the cannonball run movies.”

Woah. Actual research? Holy crap. I mean it actually looks and feels like he did a google search and took the time to actually understand the information that popped up. That’s more effort than I’ve seen for a long while. I’m not joking.

0:25 Emer notes that Jackie Chan would generally be unknown in the U.S unless you watched a lot of Hong Kong action films AND correctly displays a poster of Police Story (a 1985 film). He notes that Jackie Chan’s lack of popularity in the U.S didn’t stop Hudson from releasing his game in North America.

I’ve got nothing bad to say about Emer’s research and analysis at this point in time. If he keeps this up, I might actually have to conclude that he can do good work if he fucking tried to. In other words, if Emer keeps this up, I might actually have to polish his ass verbally.

0:45 Emer says that his review series is titled “buried treasure” probably ruining any ambiguity as to whether or not he hates the game. The game boots up and Emer begins playing the game. Emer notes that the character representing Jackie Chan doesn’t look like Jackie Chan but it shouldn’t matter since as a martial artist, the only important thing is that Jackie should kick butt. AND then…

1:00 “In fact the person in this game is a such an asskicking machine that the game should actually be called ‘shaving Chuck Norris action kung fu’ *record scratch* What the fuck is wrong with me, my last video had a sulu is gay joke and now I’ve degenerated down to a shitty Chuck Norris joke? Good god, I didn’t even like those stupid fuckin jokes when they were supposedly funny and popular. Damn even I’m fucking disappointed in myself on this one. Let’s try and get back on track here” – Emer Prevost, I’m not making this up. He really said this.

Okay… while I’m glad that Emer has made this mistake. At least I don’t have to polish his ass with praise. But still… what the hell? I mean you had to have edited in the record scratch and even he admits the joke sucked… so why keep it in? I mean I wouldn’t keep something that I knew sucked in any of these articles I write? Emer Prevost knew the joke would suck, knew that he hated the joke, AND did it anyway?

This is a very special kind of lazy.

1:33 “anyway, this whole game can be summed up like so. Jackie here, walks around, kills everything that moves and advances to the next stage”

Uh yeah no. There’s bonus levels and stages where you have to advance while lava rises.

1:40 Emer adds that despite the game being simple, the game is still fun.

Uh Emer…? Are you going to explain why? Any talk about the enemy design? Any talk about level layout? What about bosses? Anything?

1:55 Emer lists the moves you can do “You have a kick, a megaman-like charge punch, and a series of special moves such as rolls and roundhouse kicks. You collect these special moves by kicking frogs. Yeah you heard me; all these special moves come from the bodies of murdered frogs”

Okay first off. Megaman-like charge punch? Megaman doesn’t do charge punches and also Emer forgot to mention that said charged punches are limited and can only be done 5 times barring refills (in fact in the footage he shows, the energy bar depletes by one unit when he does the punch… so how he missed this I don’t know unless of course it was lazyiness). The next thing I would like to add is that the frogs don’t die, you can see clearly in the footage that the frogs drop the powerups when hit… and then jump off screen. I don’t get how you could come to the conclusion that frogs are so fragile they die when kicked and combine that with the on-screen visual feedback that includes frogs not dying when kicked,,. unless of course you’re being completely lazy.

2:16 Emer then lists off the enemies (but not exhaustively). He says most of them die in one hit despite the fact that most of the humanoid enemies don’t as even his footage shows that and I can as someone who’s played the game can tell you that most enemies don’t. Emer then fills his contrarian quota by saying that the game is easy (yeah I dare you to name a hudson soft game that’s easy) and this is in spite of the fact that the footage shows him getting his ass kicked to near death by flame birds (that’s level two IIRC). He adds that its cool that Jackie Chan is a badass who kills flaming birds in one hit… also fulfilling the quota for pointless analysis that doesn’t cover the actual target of analysis.

So I’m gonna make commentary short for this part…. is Emer a freaking static character. Like its been years… and he’s still making the same mistakes. I know habits die hard and all that but how lazy do you have to be not make one improvement from movie reviews to game reviews?

3:19 Emer says that the game has scrolling stages and that they’re hard. He says that if you take any time to think, you’ll be killed. His character gets killed and he says that the death animation looks cute. Emer then says that only in a nintendo game can a death look cute.

If the scrolling stages are hard emer… then why remark that the game is easy or can be summed as “Jackie here, walks around, kills everything that moves and advances to the next stage”. Its this complete lack of consistency that is a recurring problem in Emer Prevost’s work. One moment he’s saying something’s terrible, the next he’s saying that very same thing is awesome. I don’t get it? Why the fuck can’t Emer make up his own mind? He’s got the time to edit in stupid record scratch sound effects. Why not bother to proofread?

3:30 Emer remarks “No wonder people think video game’s desensitize people, when death is this fucking adorable”

Emer can use google, at least he did for the first minute of this video… but he failed to use google to look up what desensitization means.

“to cause (someone or something) to react less to or be less affected by something : to cause (someone or something) to be less sensitive”- http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/desensitize

To desensitize someone, it means to make them feel nothing; not feel more or feel something else. Game’s desensitizing you to things such as death means that a game would frequently display death to the point that the player no longer treats such events with urgency or emotional response. For example, in call of duty one would kill plenty of terrorists and perhaps for the first few times you might feel really happy (or possibly depressed if you’re that empathetic) because you killed an enemy but eventually you’d get bored and start feeling nothing. That is desensitization. Its actually resensitization when one begins to associate an emotion with a previously emotionally neutral event. So in this case Emer isn’t facing desensitization but actually resensitization as he’s finding death funny and cute. My guess is Emer spent one too many calories on the first part of the video and therefore opted to use as few as possible for the rest of the video.

3:40 Emer correctly notes that you have only one life (as in you die once and its game over) in the game. Emer says that this doesn’t matter since you’re given an “assload” of continues and says that most of the enemies are easy to beat so it doesn’t matter.

Wow. First off, if you use a continue, you go back to the first area of the level. It’s a continue not an extra life. Second, the gameplay footage frequently shows Emer with nearly no life so I highly doubt the game is easy (and as I’ve noted, I don’t find the game easy at all). Third, the health refill pick up only healths 2 HP and are sparsely distributed. So you’re pretty much going to die unless you perfect play most of the level.

4:07 Emer then talks about the bosses, showing a buddist statue as one of the bosses. Emer says that bosses are really creative.

Well I can’t argue with Emer here. The bosses are real creative. Unfortunately it is at this point that I realized that Emer has not beaten the second level of the game as all footage from the game shows that he’s only gotten to the second level. The second level is the lava and ice level (it begins in lava and then ice near the end). In fact the second boss or any of the other bosses are nowhere to be found. So literally I don’t think he’s beaten a game that is only 1 hour long.

4:26 Emer talks about the bell powerup which takes you to the bonus levels. “hitting these will take Jackie and his master to heaven it seems” says Emer, not noting that there’s other bonus levels aside from the cloud hopping one thats only on stage one. He describes the cloud hopping bonus round and states the points gained from the bonus level is used to get powerups like health or extra continues. Emer concludes that the game is good and he highly recommends pirating it by downloading the rom of the game.

Wow this review sucked. No indepth explanation of the level design, bosses or anything. It also frequently shows that he didn’t play past the second level of the game. All in all this review was lazy.

Oh he reviewed another game I’ve played. This will be funny… in a tragic sort of sense.

0:28 “We now look at a complete anomaly in the video game world *shows picture of fist of the north star*”

What? I thought…. I thought we were reviewing cool spot?

0:29 “We all know that anything was licensed has a real good chance of sucking donkey balls *pictures of licensed games flash by*”

Okay so we’re less than a minute in and I’m confused as to what he’s even reviewing in a review titled cool spot. Great. Oh and he flashes the swamp thing game twice… ran out of pictures there Emer?

0:49 “you would think that a game based on a product’s mascot would truly suck right? Well this is not the case with Cool spot on the SNES. This mild-mannered platformer brings alot to the table.”

Brings what to the table? Jumping? Shooting? Finding things hidden in the level? Oh vey this is going to be one of those reviews where you just say shit without knowing what they mean isn’t it?

1:02 “Just who or what was this coolspot guy anyway? Well back in the early 90s, 7up decided that they needed some sort of a mascot”.

*Googles actual date of Coolspot’s creation* Finds 1987 as the date…. come on Emer… you did research in the last review I looked at! What the hell happened here?

1:16 “Instead of coming up with a cutesy ass character from out of nowhere, they decided to bring the little red spot on their cans and sodas to life and make it the coolest damn thing on the planet”

Coolspot, ‘coolest damn thing’ on the planet? Had to fulfil that contrarian quota didn’t you Emer?

1:29 “Seriously just fucking look at him”

Yeah he’s a red circular bingo chip with a face and no nose. I don’t know about what the readers think but the coolest damn thing on the planet is a hard sell to make. I mean we’ve got nukes, Main battle tanks, Nature, Flowers, Vaccines, Humans, Humans who do great things, Video games and life itself and I’m not even close to naming the coolest things ever on the planet. But just to be sure:

1:32 “Shit this guy [cool spot] makes Fonzie look like a fucking nerd”

Can we get with the review already? You’re not doing a very good job convincing me that a red bingo chip is cool; stop trying.

1:36 “*screen goes black* Well a happy days reference, that’s a first for me”

Is this a anti-humor? Or is this no humor? I can’t tell the difference because Emer can’t make a joke that actually works.

1:46 Emer goes on to talk about and waste the viewers time by explaining that a video game was made and that 7up marketed their mascot.

Oh and did mention that Emer also says “was-was” for some reason. It’s really awkward it sounds like it was an editing error, like he tried to merge two audio clips and it just ended up making a vomited mess.

1:59 “this game kicks ass in ways I never thought imaginable”

Well there’s your problem Emer, you can’t imagine to begin with.

2:10 Emer explains the basic premise of the game. Collect items and collect enough and you can go to the end of the level and open the cage. Fight enemies who attempt to kill you. Emer lists the enemies but not exhaustively and instead concludes that there’s a “ton of other things”.

2:24 “The enemies are perfectly balanced, so they have to actually work to actually kill and you have to actually do a little bit of work to actually kill them”

Wow this review actually sucks because the word actually is used so many times its actually pathetic. I think this may actually qualify as actually laziness because actually I can’t think of how you could actually make a sentence that both reads like it actually had no work in it and actually has no actually business containing so many actually words.

2:50 Emer states there are floor traps such as barbwire, traps and water. He notes that water instantly kills you. He brings attention to the health bar that is literally a face of Cool spot that melts as you take damage. Emer says the death animation that consists of coolspot falling backwards and then getting back up is cool and a “that I just need to show”.

So Emer… care to explain to me how this death animation is cool? Because its not really cool, if anything its pretty standard. I mean its like a earth worm jim’s death animation. Or any other game where a death animation plays as the background goes dark. What the hell makes it cool anyway?

3:18 Emer says “damn this is awesome” while still looking at the death sound effect.

Gee, you could be reviewing the level design, the actual roles of the enemy or providing critique on game mechanics… instead you’re jerking off to the death animation.

3:23 Emer says that the game’s controls are “tight and flawless” while showing his character failing to grab onto a rope and falling flat on his face.

No I have no comments to make here. The sheer dissonance between his words and the footage should be enough.

3:35 Emer decides to be so contrarian that he contradicts himself by saying that the jumping is wonky.

Wow so the controls are “tight and flawless”, except the they’re not. Wow consistency.

3:38 “Spot is able to rocket… very high distances… when you jump and… if you don’t know this… over time… it is… it is-it is gonna cost you and it is gonna piss you off-but-but-but once you actually have his jumping down… then it won’t post a huge problem for you.”

Do you smell that masterful stroke of pure lazyiness? Couldn’t have a second take there could you emer?

4:06 Emer says there is a major problem in the level design in that the “draw distance is really fucking short”.

“Draw distance is a computer graphics term, defined as the maximum distance of objects in a three dimensional scene that are drawn by the rendering engine”

Now to be fair this definition isn’t in dictionaries. The real issue however is that the term to be used is scaling as the camera is too zoomed in to show important details in advance where as character models are too big. Of course Emer is too lazy to express his problem properly. But let’s enjoy his attempt to explain it.

4:10 “Let’s just take this level right here for instance. You have no enemies to worry about so… so you don’t have to worry about dying from taking damage, but you have a lot of precision jumping to do, in fact that’s all this level is, its just… its just percision jumping. Now since Spot jumps so high and the draw distance is so short, it is a bit of a challenge to figure out where the hell you’re supposed to land and death will happen… and it-and it will happen often the first few times you play this level. So those of you who are quick to anger may want to find a cheat code to get past this level.”

Pure genius writing and editing skills.

4:57 Emer notes that this game has won awards for best music and asks the viewer to listen in.

5:14 Emer then proceeds to say that Tommy Tallarico makes great music and that everything he touches is good.

No complaints here. Tommy Tallarico was the guy who was involved in the Terminator on Sega CD music. If you haven’t heard it you really should.

5:26 Emer points that its hypocritical to have such a well remembered game on a review series called “buried treasure” and says he’s going to redefine the series to mean any game that just isn’t well remembered.

Wow that’s a terrible excuse. You’re talking about a game that won several awards and that most people probably would have played on the ground that it won awards and was a well marketed title. But then again I’m not surprised.

5:26-end of review: Emer than goes to talk about Cool spot goes to hollywood by just showing the cover of the game and saying that he didn’t really like it. Emer Also says that Cool spot is available on many systems so finding it shouldn’t be too hard to find a copy (what telling us to download the roms isn’t viable this time? CAN we have some consistency?). Emer then calls everyone “kirbies” and tells them to play the game. He ends the review with a kirby dream course animation of dancing kirbies with the words “try this game out!” in the background.

Wow random and lazy. Next review please.

OH this is gonna be rich. One of the worst reviewers I’ve ever seen playing the worst NES game that was mever released. Both narrow superlative but extremely amusing none the less.

0:20 This review is a quickie and the title of the review series is godawful games. Okay glad to see there will be no surprises of opinion here

0:26 “Oh boy I have found the worst game ever made”

Okay 2 problems already. Number one this game is unreleased, that means it wasn’t really made, your playing a beta. It exists, but in terms of actual legal definition of the term “made” as in legal property, it doesn’t exist. In fact “worst game ever made” would imply that the game actually went commercial… this is clearly not the case with cheetahmen 2

Number 2 if your definition of worst game ever made is “it exists” then clearly you haven’t been browsing flash games. Because seriously, there’s plenty of shovelware out there, Cheetahmen 2 is a high profile piece of garbage, but its no where near E.T or whipped up in a basement with no coding skills flash game levels.

0.30 “I know that others have reviewed it, but I really need to speak on this”

I can’t wait to see what he has to say.

0:36 “tonight I’m looking at Cheetahmen 2”

Oh so that’s what the title of the youtube video was about. I thought you were just playing star wars battle front 2 or something. Glad to see you didn’t edit in the present and you still didn’t edit back then. BTW guys this article you’re reading is about Emer Prevost. You notice how redundant this is, because that’s how I feel when I get reminded what review I’m watching AFTER reading the title of the video and its only been 5 seconds because the intro music doesn’t really count as material!

0:46 “They made a sequel out of one those shitty games from action 52. That alone should have been a red flag. But I pressed on”

GET ON WITH IT.  What the fuck is the point of these opening statements. What was the alternative? NOT doing the review? Not playing the game and then doing the review anyway? Of course you played the fucking game. This video wouldn’t be here unless you played it! Am I supposed to feel sorry that you metaphorically put a fork in the electrical socket and get zapped? I thought this was a quickie? Because it feels like filler.

0:52 “Because this is a quickie, I’m gonna make this as short and sweet as I possibly can”

I could go two ways with this. I could note that quickie is a term for quick sex and go that route. Or I could recall that I just got mad earlier due to POINTLESS REDUNDANT STUPIDITY THAT TREATS VIEWERS LIKE GOLDFISH. Gosh I didn’t this was a quickie review emer. There was a like a 30 second musical intro with the huge words quickie in it. Did you proofread this shit?

0:56 “Absolutely everything about this fucking game is bad. The graphics are so bad they made my eyes hurt. I have seen better graphics on the apple 2”

Wow, so reviewer on games… talks about graphics first… Graphics is the least of the problems that cheetahmen 2 has. Uh… yeah…. I wasn’t expecting to have to go on a rant about why you should talk about graphics last… especially considering we are in an age where retro games do extremely well to the point that games like minecraft have shit graphics and do extremely well. Also I would like to note that cheetahmen 2’s graphics isn’t really bad enough to cause eye strain, its pretty standard for NES so hey gotta get that contrarian in there.

1:08 “oh god and the sound too… the sound is almost like… the sound I would compare to having your eyes raped. I literally could make better music with a flute up my ass”

Oh wait I stopped too early. Here comes the full contrarian bullshit. Literally the music was the best part of cheetahmen series. There’s remixes upon remixes of the iconic song. Its the only good thing to come out of the game. I’m not kidding either. Here’s a some remixes.

The simple fact of the matter is the song is well liked by the music community, and there’s plenty of remixes of the game especially in Japan. But hey I guess Emer must have a damn good ass to make a song better than this masterpiece.

1:24 “don’t even get me started on the almost non-existant sound effects”

What? There’s plenty of sound effects. There’s the twang for shooting and jumping. A “Huah” when you get hit and hit others. What? That’s standard. The NES can’t handle too many sounds at once you know.

1:30-1:45 Emer finally talks about the controls and about how they suck because you can’t crouch even though that’s not a fault of the controls but a fault of game design. Bad controls means a bad control layout or unresponsive buttons and delayed actions. Bad game design means not having controls for critical actions or there not being enough actions to give proper gameplay for the player. Not being able to crouch to shoot tiny enemies and jump and accurately shoot flying enemies would count as bad game design not bad controls. Though he doesn’t go into any extreme detail about the game design or literally anything else that would actually explain why the game sucks, I’m not surprised. What surprises me however is:

1:46 “Now I sincerely mean it, I wanna hunt down the cocksuckers who made this fucking atrocity and torture them… severely.”

No I don’t think I need to say anything about this blatant sociopathy. I mean I think wanting to kill people who’s only crime was making a game that wasn’t released and couldn’t be played unless you specifically went out of your way to play it by breaking the law (emer has already established he uses emulators and is okay with piracy) speaks for itself.

2:12 Emer says the game makes him physically ill, then asks Muttly from wacky races to finish the review. A picture of Muttly and Dick Dastardly show up on screen followed by Muttly’s iconic laugh.

I didn’t know you could do so many things wrong in 2 minutes. OH and there’s no gameplay footage beyond the first level. So how he can physically be sick from a game that he clearly didn’t even force himself though is beyond me.

Well that was all I’m gonna say about Emer Prevost’s reviews for a long while. He clearly hasn’t changed in several years so its clear that lazyiness is endemic to Emer Prevost. Therefore I have to revise the score for talent

Talent = F-

The rationale for this is that Emer Prevost could easily get a D or even a F+ if he tried but its clear that he enjoys not trying. I can’t give a higher grade just because he might not be a complete fuck up. He has to earn it first and considering he can’t even review cheetahmen 2 properly… prospects are slim.