For those of you new to this blog. I rate on a TIR system aka Talent, Integrity and Responsibility. Talent = Entertainment potential, Integrity = morals and ethics and finally Responsiblity = individual’s ability to explain their ethical choices/stance and avoid causing frequent controversy. But first an overview of Emer Prevost’s work:
Emer Prevost also know as He11sing920 (note the 11’s) has a long history that for the most part has remained obscured or otherwise lost to most people. To be fair the majority of this is because Emer Prevost used to put his work and content on a website known as WingerDinger Productions, a website which is now defunct for “hacking” as the official story goes. I trust TV tropes so I’ll just let them describe how Emer Prevost’s ‘totally original’ RAR series came to exist:
“During an episode of Sunday Night Live (a live streaming show that Hellsing and a few others used to do), there was a scheduled live commentary of Kickassia. However, due to technical difficulties (and a general hatred for what they were watching), the commentary had to be scrapped a few minutes into the movie. Shortly afterwards, Hellsing (who was experiencing the technical problems) announced during the show that he would make a video reacting to and reviewing Kickassia. The rest is history.”
Whoo boy look at that dislike bar. Clearly this was a triumphant and wonderful franchise that will shake the foundations of space and time…. oh it would if Emer Prevost actually continued to put effort into his work and make content that actually appealed to more than a handful of people. Unfortunately even from the start, Emer Prevost has a lot of problems with ethics and integrity.
2:11 “with the bittorrent link I used to download these”.
Does anyone know what piracy is?
the act of illegally copying someone’s product or invention without permission -http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/piracy
Now I should note that Emer Prevost is Asalieri’s friend and was also involved in the commentary on AVGN’s movie, which also used a pirated edition of the movie. Reasons why you shouldn’t use a pirated copy of anything for an official review are numerous. For one it prevents assessment of price and quality ratio since you know you DIDN’T pay for it. For two, pirated animes and movies can have different encoding and quality issues, from re-scaling to hard-coded subs to joke subs and edits. I shouldn’t even have to note that if a reviewer isn’t going to take the time to actually put their own finances on the line, they shouldn’t be one of the people who makes videos making fun of people who ask money for things:
Hey its like Asalieri’s kickstarter nightmare videos… only it sucks just as much… if not more. But WAIT there’s more, let’s see how he defends himself on claims that he pirates things and is friends with Asalieri, a completely amoral dick.
(special thanks to Kiki, for providing a link to this video)
Now I know what you’re saying, 3 hours? No way I’m watching though this shit, don’t worry I’ve got you covered. Here’s the highlights.
Emer and some other douchebag (Bluemagus who due to lack of notabability will be called other douchebag for the rest of this article) gets asked a question that asks why Emer and the other douchebag are still friends despite him knowing the terrible things Asalieri does and how unethical he is in addition to lambasting Emer and other douchebag for pirating AVGN’s movie. Emer’s response to the piracy accusation?
3:14:12 “To argue that somebody on the internet has pirated something is kinda weak argument because who here hasn’t?”- Emer
“Its like let he, who is without sin cast the first stone”- Other douchebag
Uh yeah, I’m gonna ask Emer to get off his high horse and head down to the police station to for a drug test because I’m pretty sure both Emer and his high horse are freaking stoned right now. The list for what’s wrong with this defense is enormous:
1. That bible quote doesn’t exist… surprise!
2. That’s not what the quote means either. Surprise!
3. The actual quote is ““If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her”
Read more: http://www.gotquestions.org/without-sin-cast-first-stone.html#ixzz3bGC4gOx9
4. The actual passage is about Jesus being confronted with the trial of a women who had commited adultery but no one was mad about the adultery as they were actually just trying to get Jesus into a catch 22, if he doesn’t condemn her than jesus isn’t pious and thus disobeyed god, if he does condemn her than he’s a violent man who hurts people. And of course doing nothing would mean that Jesus is useless. Jesus decides he’ll be having none of that and says if any of you are not involved in this mess than you may cast judgement (using the actual quote in 3)… and curiously none of them are willing to do the deed and they flee the scene. Thus there are two morals here, the first is that when judging a crime, the punishment should be delivered by those who are neutral and those who weren’t wronged by the offender. The second is that you shouldn’t invoke the law to do something that has no relevance to the actual purpose of that law, none of the men were really mad that the women had commited adultery as the real purpose was to catch-22 Jesus. The religious texture should not be used as an excuse to hurt people and when invoking the law, you should avoid dragging in more people than necessary.
So you might be wondering, how does this apply to Emer Prevost? Well you need to remember he agreed with the passage, meaning that he either thinks he’s Jesus or that he knows the passage well enough to know what the hell that even meant. Obviously he doesn’t because the passage ends with Jesus telling the lady to go home and stop sinning. Emer prevost pirates things and still pirates things thus by agreeing that this passage reflects his stance on piracy, he’s taken the bible to mean nothing what it actually says and in fact disregards the entire purpose of the passage to begin with. FAIL.
5. By quoting the passage all he is saying is that someone’s critique has no merit because they also pirated it. Except this makes no sense because not everyone pirates. Economy 101, businesses need money to produce things. This may surprise Emer who is okay with e-begging for things even when he could pirate them and does in fact pirate things, but it shouldn’t surprise you that while piracy may exceed the revenue that a product made, it doesn’t change the fact that revenue was made… meaning someone BOUGHT something. If everyone pirated and never bought anything, then every industry that was electronic software would crash immediately. Activision is still rich, Rockstar Games still sold millions of copies, people still BUY things. There are plenty of people who are sinless of the charge of pirating AVGN’s movie (like me) who would be more than happy to cast that stone at you Emer, in fact you quoting the bible to get away with being an obnoxious asshole who refuses to fit in or do his fair share of work is the exact opposite of what the bible preaches. Try again Emer and don’t use the bible next time.
6. In that bible quote, The lady was in fact guilty. So by quoting it all Emer has done is just say “yeah I’m guilty call the cops”.
7. Even if the person asking the question did in fact commit piracy of AVGN’s movie, it doesn’t change the fact that s/he had a point. The bible passage is a reference to enforcing the law when no one really cares because no one was really hurt by the offending party. Adultery when none of the men cared is not equivalent to piracy which is a serious problem that could hurt the industry, an industry that Emer depends on to make content for his reviews.
8. Emer, you’re still commiting piracy to this day. By agreeing with the quote you also agree that Jesus told you to stop and that you agreed to stop. So thus you’ve just insulted jesus and literally committed blasphemy by lying to Jesus. Gosh I love it when people quote the bible without knowing what the fuck it even means, its lets me come up with these hilarious but totally valid conclusions.
9. Asalieri is a atheist. And this quoting the bible was also to defend Asalieri… YAY more blasphemy! It funny when Atheists use the bibles own words seriously.
I mean that is 9 things wrong with this piece of shit of defense but I digress because that’s not the worst defense in this long video. Let’s hear what Emer and other douchebag has to say about Asalieri’s lying and stalking.
3:15:07 “I have never seen Eric spread lies” – Emer Prevost
“I’ve seen him spread misinformation but its usually based on a misinterpretaion of something he heard which is not really a lie because a lie is knowingly spreading something that you know is false” – Other Douchebag
“Yeah instead he’s spreading something that he thinks he knows is true and winds out being found out to be false later… he is more than ready to correct himself” – Emer Prevost
“…only evidence they have of him stalking is because of a guy named kyle… kyle was just showing you evidence that he wanted you to see” – Other douchebag
“exactly… and you totally cannot just look at that and go well that is totally right. That is similar to gamergate… that these people are horrible based on these tiny tiny bits that people just want you to see” – Emer
“[Asalieri] was just trying to salvage it [the relation ship]” -Other Douchebag
WOW. The Useful idiot is real. I mean could these two guys be anymore of a Useful idiot? For those who don’t know political Jargon, a useful idiot is an individual is runs positive statements for a regime or public figure while pretending to not be aware (or legitmately unaware) of the fact that those positive statements they just made are incorrect or completely false.
The facts are in plain view and yet they decide to speak in clear defiance of the facts to support their friend via cronyism. Hey emer you use gamergate but I’m pretty sure you don’t know what you’re talking about. In fact Emer doesn’t list either side so while he could talking about gamers being slandered he could also be talking about developers too, its that vague. And considering that Emer is doing this in clear contempt of evidence that shows Eric deliberately spreads misinformation such as telling MrKillultra he would get an apology video or that Eric has no criminal record or many of the other things I’ve caught him doing in past several articles, its very obvious that Mr.”I call it like I see Asalieri” is liar who frequently lies but pretends he did it by accident even though he makes no attempt to fix the lie or make up for lying to begin with. I would love to see Asalieri actually retract any of the lies he’s made in the past few years, I don’t even think he apologized for pretending that TGWTG cruxified people even though it was so fucking obvious something was taken out of context. Neither has Asalieri apologized for saying AVGN stole money to make his movie or that that IMDB page was faked…. and no half-assedly taking a video offline doesn’t count as an apology. In fact I have even more evidence that Asalieri lies courtesy of other posters informing me of this:
And you know bonus points for saying that a victim who shows real evidence of Eric stalking them count as manipulative editing, I mean what were you expecting kyle to show paint drying? IF other douchebag weren’t so completely unnoticeable and wasn’t a completely obvious Asalieri suck up then maybe I’d actually use his name. But as far as I’m concerned, Emer, Asalieri is not a good friend, he’s not an honest person and he’s frequently violated his own statements and to the point that some of his later videos are practically self parody because he lies and contradicts his own statements in the video within minutes.
I mean seriously, he was just “salvaging” the relationship. I know emer didn’t say that but Emer did agree with it by not contradicting other douchebag. I wonder how Emer and other Douchebag would respond if Eric killed somebody?
“You see he was just helping the murder victim ‘ascend’ to another plane of existence and of course no one needs blood to survive once ascended so naturally Eric can’t be faulted for stabbing someone to death because stabbing doesn’t cause blood loss, the blood leaves on its own free will! Therefore the murder victim died on their accord. Besides the murder victim’s camera was only showing what the murder victim’s camera footage saw and the police investigators only kept in parts relevant to the case. Thus the police investigators are lying because they show only what is relevant to the case!”
But that’s enough quoting of Prevost Wrong: Shit Attorney.
I digress… So Emer Prevost is not doing very well in the integrity section, and its kinda hard to have any self esteem or integrity when your rubbing Asalieri’s ass so thoroughly it might as well be your occupation.
Let’s take a look at Emer’s ability to explain his behaviour and not make an ass out of himself.
3:07 “I care and respect each and every one of you… who watches anything I do… and is actually willing to tell me if they thought that it was good or that they thought it sucked. I fucking respect every single one of you guys”
Emer Prevost 2 years ago in reply to LinkHarkinian
“You must be a troll. No person with half a brain would consider Doug Walker an “influential critic”. Or, are you really that stupid?
Suddenly, I am beginning to wonder.”
So He11sing920 respects individuals just as long as they don’t disagree with him or like TGWTG members. Hmm interesting, How does he defend against accusations of having childporn.
“because it is animated, it doesn’t fall under childporn laws” – Emer Prevost
Uh Emer… wrong defense. Under every defining guideline, child pornography is as defined by US government
“child pornography as any visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct involving a minor”
Boku no pico is child porn by this definition as it does contain explicit content. The only mitigating factor in Emer’s defense here is that in US freedom of expression allows fictitious child porn to be viewed, showing it to underaged preteens though… yeah that defense wouldn’t really help Emer. Perhaps if Emer attempted to to state his audience wasn’t preteens… but hey its not my job to come up with their own defensive statements; my job is to keep defective cars from coming and killing innocent people by getting shoved into the market by bullshit car companies.
Wow, so that was the overview of Emer’s history, he had a website, it got hacked. He started a new show that involves cutting out any research or hard work and just voicing lines and then got really really lazy. He defends Asalieri like a useful idiot with an emphasis on idiot and he can’t even make a moral code and stick with it or even justify it. My rating system is based on the Canadian Grading system of percentages converted into letters (i.e F = 25%, F- means less than 25% and F+ means over 25%)
Talent- F+ (I’m sure Emer could get a score past failing grade if he expended some calories though)
Integrity- F- (Seriously Emer, you do not have good friends)
Responsiblity- F- (I don’t see how you could justify reviewing childporn to underage kids… these are just the kinds of things you should consider before you do crap like this)
And now for the special feature, let’s take a look at an RAR that is both tasteless and completely dumb. His catwomen RAR.
I’m probably not going to be quoting too many things as I don’t really need to examine statements closely.
0:00 – 0:25 Long intro that contains what is copyrighted music. So I guess Emer is afraid of showing copyrighted footage but is perfectly fine with copyrighted music.
0:25 – 1:12 Emer talks about how he’s heard many terrible things about the movie.
1:12 – 1:39 “I don’t care how loyal these movies are to their source material. I care more about whether or not these damn things are good as a stand-alone film. I want to know whether this movie is going to be an enjoyable watch.”
*Sigh* Okay three things wrong.
1. Care more than “I don’t care”? This statement is very vague and prevents proper establishment of the rating criteria. Is Emer Prevost looking at the film only based on its inherent entertainment value? Or is that only one factor? Based on the later statements, its clear that its based on its inherent qualities and not its view as a franchise alone. This of course comes with its own problems but its telling that Emer could not look over the script and remove such vague phrasing. Gotta put as little effort as possible don’t you Emer?
2. This is a COMIC BOOK movie! YOU CAN’T DO THAT! Comic book movies are made to interpret and translate the comic book format to film format. It’s like critiquing a meal without knowing how it was made, what was in it or any theory behind cooking. Sure you can do that, but your critique will be very limited, very misinformed (imagine someone complaining a burger had a burger in it), and it will also be embarrassing when you fail to see key ideas and themes (imagine someone complaining the titanic sank or that people died in world war two). Emer should at least know the basic story behind Catwomen because it makes the movie suck all the more when it fails to take advantage of the franchise’s rich history and content.
3. Entertainment is highly subjective. I mean you don’t have to be a gamer to know that people have many different tastes. Since Emer happily disregards the need to know Catwomen lore, he’s essentially just said that he will not be taking any of those complaints into account. As a reviewer, you should evaluate using as many relevant factors as possible. The first question will and should always be, who is going to watch this movie? Now I will ask you the reader an obvious question; who is going to watch a comic book movie? Oh I don’t know, comic book fans? At the very least Emer should be apologizing that he will not be giving a review that best suits the target audience. I am not saying he can’t review it until he reads a few comic books but I am saying its very arrogant and unprofessional to ignore the target audience like that.
Let’s move on
2:10 “I’ve also heard alot of things about other horrible movies I’ve seen and I wound up enjoying most of those”
Oh jeez how many rookie mistakes can you make in less than 2 minutes (note that there was a 25 second intro so this still count as 2 minutes into the actual content)? Every video can be someone else’s first. Put in annotations or some kind of reference to previous reviews so that others can understand what you are saying. What movies did other people say sucked that you liked emer? You should list them because it also makes it more likely for other people to watch more of your content and also shows that you have a rich history of content. This statement has no weight unless I’ve been watching content from day one… AND that’s even assuming what he said was true!
2:32 *a nine minutes later pops up and I assume Emer is watching the movie*
Emer talks about the party scene in the movie. What happens is that the main character who I’m just gonna call catwoman, is unable to sleep due to a raging party in the building next to hers. She attempts to talk but is unable to speak louder than the raging party and thus quits in frustration. Emer points out that Catwoman should have talked louder or yelled, even though this is a movie and it has to take into account sound effects. Emer says that it is unrealistic and states that catwomen was “whispering”.
Note that in real movies, having noise so loud it actually causes hearing damage is bad form and probably illegal. We can assume that Catwomen was yelling but unable to get through the absurdly loud music or maybe the partygoers just didn’t care. If this scene were portrayed 1:1 and thus no editing or movie magic were involved, the audience would be hearing music so loud it would cause ear damage and wouldn’t get to hear what catwoman was saying. How exactly is this unrealistic to portray the scene properly? Emer do you actually know how movies work? We hear her at “whisper” levels of volume to depict the fact that she is barely audible to the partygoers. In addition I should note that in 9 minutes a lot has happened. Emer has skipped the beginning sequence of catwoman appearing to be drowning. The incredibly silly intro showing catwomen throughout history. Catwomen’s opening monologue about her “normal” life. How catwoman hates makeup. The villain’s husband’s first appearance and his talk about the new “reverse makeup” and the villian’s resignation from her post. Catwoman being insulted by her boss for extremely minor problems like “this red is not dark enough”. And that’s not even getting into the stupid foreshadowing involving that egyptian cat catwoman keeps looking at through her window. This also part-way through a scene in which catwomen rescues the stupidly foreshadowed egyptian cat from a ledge. AND emer focuses only on that one party scene? Am I supposed to assume that Emer was a vegetable for the major scenes in this movie? It’s like watching a train crash only to comment on the color of the grass. Someone clearly has the wrong priorities. In addition, this review is useless to anyone who hasn’t watched the movie.
3:01 *11 minutes pass, but because Emer is fucking lazy asshole who makes no consideration of accountability or even reproducibility, he fails to list the amount of time cumulative that has passed. Thus 20 minutes has passed*
Emer says a chase scene has occured and it was extremely boring. He says the movie is boring.
Well no shit the chase scene is boring, it hasn’t finished yet! At 20 minutes in the chase scene hasn’t concluded yet. All that’s happened in the chase is Catwomen got spotted, ran down a stairs and hid in room full of boxes and then one of the guards attempts to shoot her misses and the other guard tells him to stop but is told off by the other guard. Catwomen runs down a series of corridors being shot at and… yeah that’s all Emer would have saw by this point. For those who don’t know what’s happened in the movie, well since emer isn’t going to explain it, Catwoman accidentally stumbles on the villain talking about how the makeup is super evil and stuff (catwoman had to deliver her work but there were no couriers available) but then gets spotted by the guards leading to this chase sequence, which is actually pretty standard.
So will Emer comment on any of the important things? Nope, let’s see him skip to 9 minutes later for no fucking reason.
3:20 *9 minutes later, cumulative 29 minutes*
Emer decides to comment on Catwoman taking a ball of catnip and rubbing it on her face. Saying that it was stupid. Emer… are you a reviewer? Is this a review? Can you comment on something important? You just skipped the fucking worst part of this movie. The part where Catwoman gets resurrected by fucking cats. For those who don’t what happens in the next 9 minutes (remember that we were half way through a chase scene), Catwoman stumbles into the pipes of the makeup factory and the guards decide they don’t give a shit and flush the pipes with the lethal ass makeup and catwoman ends up the beach practically dead. Then the egyptian cat catwoman kept looking at through the window (I told you the foreshadowing was dumb) shows up and resurrects her with superpowers and shit as well as the quirk of being cat-like in behavior. She then heads to her home and sleeps
like a cat on the fucking shelf. The next morning she wakes up to a message from several people, including her love interest (just roll with it) telling her he’s done waiting for her at the restaurant, and then heads out to return the cat she found on the ledge only to stop at exposition house that tells her that the cat that revived her has god-like powers and she was revived because the egyptian god Bast just sorta felt like it. OH and to top this off the catnip scene hasn’t happened yet. GREAT FUCKING JOB EMER, YOUR TIME STAMPS DON’T MATCH UP WITH WHAT YOU’RE COMMENTING ON. NICE. To clarify, unless there’s a directors cut, there is no catnip scene within 29 minutes of this movie. None. In fact it happens 30 seconds later. So its not 9 minutes later its 10 minutes later or 9.5 minutes later.
I don’t need to point out that as a reviewer you should avoid being subjective as much as possible. You must use as many objective measures as possible, its being a reviewer is a job that you can get paid for. But I guess I don’t even need to continue this lecture because that’s not really the problem here, the problem is that once again Emer has skipped commenting on 99% of the movie to comment on a single scene that has little relevance and has also made the mistake of putting down a timestamp that doesn’t match the actual placement of the scene. Was it too much to ask that you double check your script to make sure people can actually follow your commentary? Is Emer Prevost this lazy?
3:38 *another 12 minutes later, cumulative 41 minutes*
Emer says that Halle Barry is seriously badass.
For those that don’t know what has happened so far in the movie. Read the last few recaps again and add to it; catwoman goes to work and gets yelled at by her boss (she didn’t deliver the papers due to being dead), catwoman yells back at her boss and somehow gets praised for it, Catwoman’s female friend has a stroke or something and ends up wheelchair bound and in the hospital, Catwoman meets her love interest and plays basketball, the villain of the movie acts more villainy, catwomen eats catfood and talks with her friend over the phone, she is once again kept awake by the party across the street and yells and beats up the guy who apparently runs the party.
Um yeah I can only assume that Emer is talking about the party scene again. Yeah not only is this scene pointless and unnecessary, it’s also extremely awkward and offputting. Someone who we should be rooting for, decided that instead of calling the police or putting up curtains or even closing her fucking window decides to beat up some guy and crash the entire party because they are keeping her up at night. I’d like to remind you that this is both very unlawful conduct and extremely disproportionate. I’d also like to remind you that she is not the only person in the neighbourhood, so assuming that this party happens every other day (and that’s being generous), not one person aside from her was bothered by that party. The stupidity of this scene just piles on and on. But somehow Emer thinks commenting on this scene is more important than the rest of the movie or even that the scene is utter shit and exists only to show that catwoman has changed behavior… and no this scene will not be referenced again nor will catwoman face any repercussions for crashing a party by kicking down the door, and beating the host up and destroying the party equipment.
4:00 *nine minutes later, cumulative 50 minutes*
Emer says that Catwoman turns out to be a series of people who died and were resurrected to be catwoman. He says its stupid but its okay and is acceptable. He then says he saw michelle pfeiffer’s costume from batman returns which is “fucking awesome dude”
okay so for those who haven’t watched the movie and are probably and should be pissed that Emer has not recapped the plot in anyway, Catwoman cuts her hair and does her makeup before stealing a motorbike (yeah because people just leave their motorbikes to be stolen) and somehow arrives at a jewelery store that’s being robbed at that exact second… to stop the robbers and then rob the store anyway. But not before taking a display mask at the jewelery store and then leaving the mask at the jewelery store.
Alright this scene is dumb for two reasons:
1. She grabs the mask to hide her identity
2. She hides her identity to two random robbers who she’s never seen before!
But I digress, Catwoman’s love interest investigates the robbery and find that catwoman had come back left a bag with the words sorry on it (and jewelery inside) and a box of cupcakes… yeah I’m not making this up. Then catwoman… does a fucking google search for cat and woman and then decides to go visit the exposition house again. Where is she is told what anyone would have figured out by now that the cat resurrected her and that there are generations of catwoman (which you should have deduced from the fucking intro). Oh and the part where the lady tells catwoman who catwoman actually are is past 50 minutes… great work on the time stamps there emer. And as for Michelle Pfeiffer, catwoman is shown a series of pictures of previous catwomen… and Michelle Pfeiffer’s catwomen is in there. Now considering that Emer Prevost has no real knowledge of catwomen or even actors I’m surprised he knew this. In fact I’d dare say that he scripted that response especially since it makes no sense and the timestamp doesn’t match up and he has no trouble immediately commentating on things that haven’t happened yet. At least stay true to the core premise of your show Emer!
In addition, no the presence of Michelle Pfeiffer’s catwoman is not “Fucking awesome dude” because that implies that Michelle Pfeiffer’s catwoman came before this one. But this story is set in modern times… so how THAT works is not explained. Not only that but it also means a whole generation has passed and that also means that Selina Kyle is dead. So this could up to 70-100 years in the future. Perhaps if Emer actually thinks about what things mean, we could have less stupidity like calling a reality destroying cameo “fucking awesome dude”. Unless you’re telling me that Batman returns doesn’t take place in 1992 (when it debuted), an assumption which opens a massive can of worms, this cameo is the opposite of “fucking awesome dude” because all we’ve seen this catwoman do is act like a cat, beat up a party host, somehow fail to rob a bank after having robbed it, and have super fucking powers, something Selina Kyle didn’t have. This is a cameo that doesn’t help the movie.
As for my critque on Emer… well I already said this is why you shouldn’t ignore the target audience. What if someone made a star wars film which had obnoxious sterotypes and pointless sequences as well as heavily implying that Darth Vader is a whiny, obnoxious loser? Oh wait that was the phantom menace and people hated it. By ignoring the fact that this is a comic book movie, Emer has ignored the fact that this movie takes a big dumb all over batman history and batman returns. I guess batman returns had batman fighting Egyptian gods?
4:32 *15 minutes later… are you fucking kidding me? You’re gonna a show here you have reactions to scenes and movie and you skip using a 15 minute interval? I digress, culmulative 65 minutes (1:05:00).*
Emer says that Sharon Stone is one of the worst actors he has ever seen in the history of film. Emer says that Sharon stone is the worst actor in the movie and that she is the only one putting in a shitty performance.
I could critique this but my complains would be very repetitive at this point. 15 minutes have just gone by in the movie and Emer has not reacted to any of it. For those who don’t know over these 15 minutes, the historian lady tells catwoman to accept her role and “be free” instead of oh I don’t know fucking calling the scientists. Catwoman only now tries to figure out who killed her, What follows is catwoman walking out in a very shitty outfit heading through the city for roughly two minutes. She finds the guard who was trying to shoot her in the previous chase scene, even though its by total freaking coincedence, tails the guard and finds that he went to a rave party. And despite looking totally out of place, goes to the party and orders a white russian (ugh). She then manages to extract the guard out of the party while behaving completely disruptive and easily noticeable and no one manages to call the cops.
This leads to another stupid scene where she drags the guard into an alley and then interogates him all whip seductress like. The guard tells catwoman that he was ordered to flush the pipes (which killed catwoman initially) and that catwoman had managed to hear something she was wasn’t. She then beats up the guard in a very stupid sequence and then infiltrates the facility again. She finds the scientist complaining earlier is dead, then gets spotted because she was standing out in the open like an idiot. Catwoman flees as the alarm is sounded.
The next day, catwoman visits her friend who is still in the hospital. She learns that has been framed for the murder of that scientist. It turns out that her friend had a stroke earlier because of the make-up she has been taking (the same one the recently deceased scientist was complaining about). Catwoman tells her friend to stop using the makeup because it’s killing her. Cut to the police station where the catwoman’s love interest gets a case report of the homicide at the chemical make-up facility and then tries to examine a coffee cup with the help of an expert (specifically the word “sorry” written on it) and instead of doing real foresnics like comparing the accidental and intentional features of the writing style, instead talks about bullshit behavioural patterns that aren’t grounded in any real science.
The next five minutes consist of the following. Catwoman and her boyfriend detective hang out at an amusement park. The detective asks Catwoman if she knows anything about what happened at the factory as there was a murder, and she acts all suspicious. The detective then against all protocol and reality, tells her that she is not a suspect. The two hang out at a ferris wheel, which then malfunctions and… oh really? Malfunctions worse than a misfire in a tabletop game, and the motor starts exploding; causing the chairs to swing uncontrollably. What follows is two minutes of le parkour, where a child is rescued because the swinging caused by the exploding motor causes the handle bar to fly off… which causes the child to be violently flung from the ferris wheel chair. Emer… you are on a gold mine of hilarious reactions and yet you haven’t provided a single one.
After that travesty, Catwomen breaks into a mansion only to be hit in the head from behind by Sharon stone playing the villian (the stupid CEO’s wife). But because Catwoman has superpowers, getting hit in the back of the head and falling down a set of stairs isn’t much of a problem so she’s just fine. Sharon stone tells Catwomen that she picked the wrong house to rob and accuses catwomen of killing the scientist guy. End of the 15 minute interval.
My comments: So yeah… I don’t get what Emer’s commentary/reaction has to do with this 15 minute interval. Sharon stone had like 5 seconds to do anything in this 15 minute interval. How exactly does this make her the worse actress by far in this movie? I should note that Sharon Stone and Halle Barry were both nominated for worst actress/supporting actress, but it was Halle that won worst actress. To quote Halle Barry, who said this quote with a best actress award (from monster’s ball) in her hand, “First of all, I want to thank Warner Brothers. Thank you for putting me in a piece of shit, god-awful movie… It was just what my career needed.”.
Gee Emer must be the best movie critic of them all to say an actor’s acting sucks after seeing at best only 5 seconds of screen-time. He could have said this during Sharon Stone’s smash glass moment, he could have said this during the “couples bickering moment” but he chose to say it here, when nothing particularly odd has happened. I can see why this is one of Emer’s worst reviews ever.
5:06 *17 minutes later, cumulative 82 minutes later (1:22:00)… is Emer a vegetable? Does he just stare blankly at the screen and only comment when he lapses in from unconsciousness? HELLO IS THIS EMER!? YOU’RE DOING A REVIEW! THAT MEANS YOU COVER THE CONTENT IN THE MOVIE.
Emer says that Catwoman was revealed to have split-personality disorder, meaning that there was civilian catwoman aka patience who is just a somewhat shy, overworked lady and god catwoman, which is the dominant, agressive personality we’ve seen. Emer says that its a copout and that movie was good until this point… yeah I’m not buying that Emer.
But I have to digress because we have to cover what Emer forgot to comment on for these whole 17 minutes skipped. After talking to Sharon Stone, Catwomen finds out that her husband isn’t home (she wanted to interrogate her husband not knowing she’s the villain), and after a brief fight, manages to tell the villian that the make-up is dangerous and the villain pretends to know nothing and tells catwoman that her husband might be evil and tells catwomen where her husband is. The villian then gives catwomen her phone, and catwoman is too stupid to realize she is being set up.
Mere moments later, Catwoman arrives at the opera/play that the villain’s husband is attending and breaks in. Catwoman takes the chair right next to the husband and tells him, much to his confusion, that she knows what he’s done and how he’s responsible for killing catwoman earlier when she was a civilian. This of course leads to the shocking reveal, that the villain is the villain and the guy who’s not the villain isn’t the villain. None of the audience is evacuated despite armed police officers entering the building. Catwoman somehow manages to evade her boyfriend despite being held at gunpoint… yeah I don’t know how that works. She then gets cornered right by a circuit breaker with a completely nonsense security sticker showing a cat getting electrocuted with the words danger… and of course, manages to break the power and escape.
The Villian’s husband confronts her in the husband’s office and he hits her only to find out that she has super powers too because evil make up or some shit. The villain then proceeds to get a divorce through violent means. But its time for more romantic plot tumor, why have real stuff happening when you can talk about a relationship no one cares about? Catwoman and her friend talk about her boyfriend and then catwoman goes to have a date with her boyfriend. This time however, it gets intimate (cue prono music). But it turns out that the detective used the opportunity to get samples for testing and the forensic machines at the police station rat catwomen out with a 99.9% match. Cue Catwomen casually breaking into the mansion again, only to find that the villain killed the husband and now catwoman has been framed for killing the husband… whoops. The detective naturally confronts catwoman at her home and arrests her. Catwoman then lies and pretends that that she didn’t kill anyone and says that catwoman did. Hence Emer’s split-personality statement. Catwoman naturally fails because unless the detective was dumb as Emer is, he wasn’t going to fall for obvious sociopathic lying.
Gee I guess I didn’t write this article Lasersquad must have done it. There’s practically no difference but if you’re dumb as Emer, you’ll somehow come up with the conclusion that I have split-personality disorder and not sociopathy or borderline personality disorder or perhaps social anxiety disorder with a mix of bipolar disorder. The key thing to remember thoughout this movie is that Catwoman does not actually think any different throughout the rest of the movie. She may have changed to be more impulsive, but this change is permanent and at no point does this impulsiveness go away. She doesn’t have split-personality disorder nor does this scene imply that. Credit where Credit is due however, Emer is actually commenting on an important scene.
5:52 *11 minutes later, I mean seriously, we’re at the climax of the movie… I probably know the answer to this but… are you even trying Emer? Cumulative 93 minutes, 1:33:00.
Emer says that the villain takes forever to figure out who catwoman was despite her being the only black person in the entire film. This is the last reaction… I’d say thank goodness but in all honesty his commentary was totally worthless.
For those who don’t know what happens in the next 11 minutes:
Catwoman breaks out of jail by sliding through the bars… damn those get out of jail free cards.
The Villain then gives a speech that’s very villainous.
The detective has second thoughts and confronts the villain and says that he may have evidence against her. The detective gets the villain to confess and then the villain naturally just shoots him… that was dumb. Sharon Stone tries to execute the detective gears of war style (apparently they were playing on execution mode?) but she takes too long and catwoman arrives just in time to take the gun out of her hand and flees with the guy.
Catwoman then beats up all the guards sent in to kill them. Catwoman then tells the villain she was Patience Philips.
Wait what? FULL STOP
P.S If this video gets taken down… you’ll just have to trust me.
So not only is Emer Prevost stating that the villain found out herself… but the villain didn’t even do that. The villain had to be FLAT OUT TOLD who catwomen was. So Emer’s reaction is based entirely on ignorance. Wow.
6:12 Emer gives his review on the movie.
“Well folks that was catwoman”
Wait what? you didn’t even finish watching the movie! You didn’t pay attention to the movie!
Emer found that the movie “pleasantly surprised” him and that he found it wasn’t “unwatchable shit”.
Emer says that this movie is better than White Chicks and Super babies and baby genius 2 and admits he has not watched any of those movies. Yeah Emer, your opinion, while noted is severely misinformed and the fact that you choose to pretend opinion has any value despite your critical lack of information displays volumes about how untalented and unqualifed you are as a reviewer.
Emer says that the reason is because this movie was actually watchable… well no shit it was watchable, you haven’t seen the other three fucking movies you said was worse than it so obviously those were unwatchable on the ground you didn’t see them to begin with. I don’t know if Emer is trying to use clever wordplay here but he spend every other reaction complaining about how shitty this movie was and made no real attempt to address the major scenes or even the overall plot. This movie is watchable only if you pay absolutely no attention to the movie at all. Just stare blankly into space for 2 hours, that’ll get you through movie for sure.
7:43 Emer says that Sharon Stone really deserved the worst supporting actress because her performance was terrible. Okay we need to stop again.
1. Sharon stone was playing a moron character.
2. Let’s list what this moron character did:
She kills a scientist in ways that are hard to replicate and leaves clear motives
She doesn’t attempt to find out who catwoman is at all and needs to be TOLD who she was
She attempts to frame Catwoman despite the fact that Catwoman has superpowers and that no prison could possibly hold someone with super powers
She frequently poses and acts in ways that are cartoonishly villainous and refuses to kill people quickly and efficiently
She shot the detective without checking to see if he was wearing a wire or the shear fact that if he dies on her property, she would be suspected because its happened too many times.
And this is all disregarding the fact that her master plan to sell poisonous, extremely dangerous make-up to the general public wouldn’t put her very quickly in jail as those make-ups side-effects would definitely be found by the FDA eventually (FDA failed to find defects earlier in the movie) or the simple fact that she continues to take drugs that are going to kill her or the other simple fact that all the events in the movie paint her very clearly as the obvious culprit. If everyone wasn’t a fucking dumbass, she would have been caught already.
3. How exactly is playing a terrible role make Sharon Stone worst supporting actress? I should note the winner was Britney Spears, for her political commentary in Fahrenheit. George Bush won worst actor. Are you going to mention this Emer? No? Not gonna mention how the razzies are based politically than actual merit? Nope? Okay then.
8:00 “the acting from almost the entire cast is fantastic”
It’s official Emer was asleep for most of the movie.
8:11 Emer goes back to bashing Sharon Stone after just saying less than 10 seconds ago that he would stop bashing Sharon Stone. I am not surprised hypocrisy is a theme relevant to Emer’s RARs. I’m gonna start skipping things.
9:00 still bashing Sharon stone? Really? OKay then I’m not covering this.
9:28 “Sharon Stone needs to go fuck herself”- Emer Prevost
Are you still going on about this? Because you said you would stop. It’s been a good minute and a half…
9:40 Emer starts talking about the writing and says that he loves corny stories” and “cheesy writing”. Yeah I’m pretty sure Emer was asleep. Maybe his brain just shut down or perhaps he accidentally mistook ceiling for the actual movie because the writing was absolutely nonsensical and none of the plot makes any sense. Many scenes go nowhere and many events just sort of happen despite no real reason for that. And this in spite of the fact that the movie wants you to take it seriously. The super powers are used as plot-hole devices as Catwoman can jump large swaths of area but can’t kick down a jail door. But I shouldn’t need to say this, the fact that this film is unanimously hated should tell you about how uninformed Emer is when he says that writing is good.
10:08 “you cannot go into this movie expecting a serious action film or a serious super hero film”
Except that was what this movie was TRYING TO BE. Did you listen to the movie’s music tracks playing? Did you listen to the dialogue? Did you pay any attention to how deadpan all the acting is? This movie is not a comedy of errors, this movie is an error.
And now friends we introduce the main subject of this article. Contrarian Bullshit. Now I’m going to avoid using obvious examples (COUGH GAMING JOURNALISM COUGH COUGH). Being Contrarian is very simple, take a statement that most people would agree with and say the opposite. Now you might be asking why would you ever want to do this? Well the first scenario is completely unlikely but it could be possible if you argue correctly that your statement is actually acceptable. I mean 250 years ago, black people were treated very poorly and thanks to imperialist and colonial attitudes, this was considered acceptable. So 250 years ago, saying that “Black people and White people are equal, every man is born equal” would get you a lot of attention and you’d probably be bombarded with bigoted bullshit about White Man’s burden and how White people are superior; and how its somehow okay to take hundreds of people from their homes, forcefully move them across the ocean and then have them work for you or others while paying them basically nothing. Of course we know now that slavery is wrong and it has been outlawed for decades now if not a full century. Thus it important to note that being contrarian is okay if you can argue it properly and that contrarianism isn’t necessarily evil or wrong.
But what happens when you disagree just for the sake of it? Well then you get Contrarian Bullshit! You get same amount of attention you would but instead of convincing anyone, all you’ve done is just let everyone know that you have no talent and only want attention. I mean we don’t even need to closely examine Catwoman 2004 the movie to see that Emer’s position is bullshit. His reactions to the movie are too sparse, too vague and don’t address the main content of the movie. Catwoman does not have a split-personality as she was lying and yet Emer will continue to fail to check a basic summary of the movie and pretend this is major plot-point. Hell his last reaction was completely false, saying that the villain found out Catwoman’s name and then acting as if the villain is racist. Emer does nothing to back up his own opinions and it seems the very evidence he brings up should make him hate the movie.
I’d like to ask you the reader if you can name a movie you like, as in you really do like the movie and don’t think its ‘so bad its good’ (‘so bad its good’ means you like the movie because it’s easy to make fun of or unintentionally hilarious), and then say that one actor in that movie did so poorly a job that he/she deserves a razzie? It’s these kinds of contradictories that make it obvious that Emer Prevost is lying wholesale to get a reaction. He hates the movie so much that he refuses to put any reaction shots to the actual main plot points in the movie. Emer hates this movie so much that he can’t get the plot straight and misses events that even first time viewers would notice. I may joke that Emer was asleep when he was watching the video or staring at the ceiling but that doesn’t change the fact that Emer is blatantly lying to get attention.
And it’s sad that Emer has to resort to Contrarian Bullshit. This means that Emer has essentially admited that he doesn’t care, that he is incapable of creating content that’s worthwhile and that he has to depend on having contrarian opinions to see if people care enough to see why he has them. But Emer is so lazy that he can’t even make a bad movie look good, seeing how he just glossed over 99% of the movie. And it is of no surprise that Emer’s lazy attitude has made this strategy fail as he continues to get less than 10% of his subscribers to watch his videos. It seems that the only reason why anyone watches Emer’s video’s is to see him have the opposite opinion.
But once again, I digress, let’s end this article we the last few bits of Emer’s lazyness.
11:00 Emer says that the split-personality thing is a copout. I’d like to google catwoman 2004 split-personality and you’ll find that most movie descriptions don’t contain this line. Only two websites that aren’t notable say anything about a split or multiple personality disorder. TV tropes says nothing, IMDB says nothing, Wikipedia says nothing, all the movie critics say nothing. What catwoman has is a streak of impulsive behavior as we can observe when she robs the jewelery store and then returns the stuff she stole. I just can’t believe Emer is wasting so much time on this. It’s not even integral to the plot, this movie isn’t fight club, it’s catwoman.
11:20 Emer says that he enjoyed the movie because everything was there just for the sake of being goofy. Okay so are you saying the movie sucks, or are you saying its good emer? Because this wasn’t a laugh out loud movie, it was movie that was crap and cost someone else money so you could review it even though you could have torrented it as you have no qualms about doing.
11:37 Emer says the movie has schizophrenic CG… and yet he’s still recommending this movie. He says that the CG sucks because it looks like PS2 graphics. So I don’t understand why he still says this movie is good as he says the CG makes the movie good.
12:46 He then says that the “fantastic” acting, “Cheesy” writing, and bad CG combine to make this an “almost decent” film. So wait, this film isn’t decent? So then why are you saying it good?
13:00 Emer says he loves cheesy movies and that it can’t get any cheesier than this without sucking. So essentially this movie borderline sucks and yet you are going to recommend the movie and I should note you are giving your opinion not an objective review, in a show called reaction and review? Does anyone else smell the contrarian bullshit here?
13:45 Emer then says the movie is worth “$5 or less”. I don’t need to point out how contradictory it is to say this movie is good and then say its worth less than 5 bucks. I would also like to note that Emer received this movie for free by a contributor so him saying that people should buy the movie while he himself refused to torrent it and demanded a free copy is very hypocritical but then again what’s new?
14:00 Emer than says that if you do buy it and it happens to suck than its okay because you only lost 3-5 dollars… So then why the fuck did anyone watch this review? I’m sorry Emer, I thought reviews were for people who wanted to know if a product was worth something and whether they would like it. To give a review that so nonobjective to the point that it can’t even be reliably used to judge the worth of the product the review was about is so contrary to the objective of a review that you can’t call this reaction and review anymore. This is literally Contrarian bullshit and COntraian bullshit (CBACB). We didn’t get any real reactions and we didn’t even get a review because the ending statement is get it for cheap because my review is so unreliable that you’ll probably get ripped off anyway!
14:34 Emer says this film is not for people who want to watch a serious film… uh Emer this film was entirely a drama and action story. The director intended it for people to take seriously, they weren’t trying to be comedic. But then again I’m sure Emer knows this so this is really just him talking out of his ass. I mean how many audiences can’t watch this movie again? People who want to watch a film normally, People who read comic books, people who want a good movie, people who want good Cg, People who want good villains, People who don’t watch movies that get razzies, I mean who is Emer recommending this movie for? He hasn’t said it was so bad its good, so obviously he intends to recommend this to people actually expecting quality content. SO who this is for? What’s the target audience Emer? You leave reactions to scenes that the audience has no idea what happened. You’ve completely misinterpreted the movie and now the recommendations are completely contradictory.
The RAR ends with Emer saying he was surprised with the quality of the movie and how it didn’t “completely suck” and then gives a shout-out to the person who made this review possible who I’m completely sure didn’t receive any harassment thanks to Emer holding an incredibly unpopular and bullshit opinion.
Is it any wonder that that Emer Prevost has faded into obscurity. His work reeks of laziness and his attention-whoring behavior has resulted in him adopting contrarian stances and thanks to his lack of talent, he is completely unable to talk his way out of having a bullshit opinion. He couldn’t explain why he reviewed child pornography, he couldn’t explain how piracy is not evil, he couldn’t explain why catwoman is a good movie. Its a sad sad moment when you realize that someone just stopped trying because they deluded themselves into thinking it was simply easier to lie to everyone. Want a reaction? Well its going to a be reaction that’s not properly time-stamped, relatable or even relevant to the movie! Want a Review that’s objective and well-reasoned? Well Its going to have a completely untenable conclusion and be as subjective and non-objective as possible! Want a decent person who doesn’t commit cronyism? Well here’s Emer, the guy who shill for all his friends because Asalieri is apparently a saint!
You wanted him and you got the exact opposite! The author of Contrarian Bullshit, Emer Prevost.